Citizen, Calm Down

   It's a bold move, it's a risky move, and it's definitely a political move.  Recently, President Obama stepped up to the podium and announced a new plan for Illegal Immigrants.  Under this plan, illegal immigrants who were brought here as young children, who have led crime-free lives, and who are productive members of society, can obtain work permits and hold jobs without fear of being deported.
   As you can imagine, this has caused quite an uproar.  It's always amazed me how touchy people get when you talk about illegal immigration.  "They're taking our jobs!" you say.  "They're bringing bad things to our country!" you say.  Even I've complained about illegal immigrants, claiming that it's not fair for them to not pay taxes like the rest of us.
   But consider this: I will wager that the average "illegal immigrant" is more of a Citizen than the average "American."  Let's set aside for a minute the obvious truth that many of them know more about our country, it's history, it's culture, than we do.  Let's focus specifically on the issues that seem to get the most attention.  You say they're taking your jobs, but what jobs are they really taking?  Janitors.  Garbage men.  Jobs that many Americans now consider "beneath" them.  You say they are bringing bad things into our country.  To some extent that may be true... there are plenty of illegal immigrants who are involved with drug cartels or commit some pretty bad crimes while they are here.  But there are also a lot of illegal immigrants who come here to work or get a good education... people who are willing to sacrifice everything to get a leg up in life.  And take my complaint about taxes.  A recent "Time" article explains that actually most of them DO pay taxes just like you or me.
   The reality is that these low-lifes... these "illegals..." actually exemplify everything that has made America the great country that it is today.  Not to say what everyone else always says, but we really are all immigrants.  When America was still growing, it grew because people stepped on each other.  It was a constant fight to try to get to the top.  No one was going to help you but yourself.  It was dirty, sometimes it was pretty sheisty, but it ultimately drove us to become the leaders of the world.  This is what these illegal immigrants are doing today.  They come here with nothing, take whatever work they can, and they refuse to stop until they make a difference for their families and for this country.  YES there are some bad apples, but there are also plenty of American citizens who commit terrible crimes every day.
   And just look in the mirror.  We have reached a point in this country where the entire idea of citizenship needs to be revisited.  "Being born here" is no longer enough of a reason for you to become a citizen.  Americans have become lazy and spoiled.  We think because our parents crapped us out on American soil, we suddenly have access to all these amazing things.  We think that entitles us to handouts, to getting preferential treatment, to putting ourselves above the rest of the world.  Having pride in your country and heritage is one thing, but this is so misguided it's sickening.  When was the last time you voted?  How much do you really know about our past?  Our presidents?  Our constitution?  I think for every single one of these illegal immigrants, you can find an American who is LESS American, and if you replaced those "citizens" with these "illegals," we would all be better for it.
   I hate to say it, but "Starship Troopers" had it absolutely right.  It's time for us to adopt a new system for citizenship.  It's time for us to look at a system where we are all born on equal footing.  NO ONE is born a citizen.  You serve your country and earn citizenship.  Join the military.  Get a quality (read: productive) job.  Do a service (like being a mailman or garbage collector).  Work in your community.  How is it okay for someone who does nothing with their life but sit on their ass, take handouts from the government, and get addicted to drugs, to be a US citizen, while someone from Mexico/China/Nigeria/Slovania/YouNameIt works their butts off every single day and has to constantly worry about being deported?  That, my friends, is messed up.
   So was Obama right in bringing this up?  Well it's a bold political move.  It will probably gain him some points with the hispanic population... but the people it really affects won't be able to vote for him so I have to think that he had legit motives behind this.  And I do think it was the right decision to make.  These people are here.  They're helping to keep this country going.  They're going to stay, like it or not... so we might as well give them an easy way to become an actual member of society.  I might eat my words by saying this, but I think it will really improve the quality of life for all of us knowing that these people don't have to resort to desperate measures to keep their identities hidden and stay under the radar anymore.  And on that same note, I think it's time we all re-evaluate our citizenship.  What are we taking for granted?  What can we learn from these people who would do anything to share the rights that we enjoy every day?  We're pretty lucky when you think about it...

Time To Start Punching...

   This just makes me sick.  I'm sure by now you've probably seen or at least heard about the video of some middle schoolers picking on an old lady on the school bus.  I honestly couldn't even sit through the whole thing, it made me so mad.  My first instinct was to find each of them (on the bus, preferably), work out some deal where the bus driver opens the doors to let me in and then locks them behind me, and I just go through there windmilling, pounding the ever-living shit out of each and every one of those punk-ass kids.
   I get it, kids are smartasses.  Especially at that age (middle school), they think they know everything.  Ever since Bart Simpson, kids that age have been spoiled, loud-mouthed, and completely offensive.  That's nothing new.  But it has gotten markedly worse in the past few years.  What once was a snide or smartass remark has turned into absolute cruelty.  I don't care if this bus monitor lady was crabby, mean, etc.  There is a line that you do not cross, especially as a student, and these punks all crossed it in about the first 10 seconds of this video.
   So why is this happening?  I'll tell you - media.  Media instigates all of this kind of behavior.  It encourages kids to act this way, because of who it spotlights and follows in the real world.  Justin Beiber?  Lindsay Lohan?  Snooki???  This is who the media follows.  These spoiled little bitches do whatever they want and get away with everything.  They are offensive, they are scabs on society, and yet they are lauded and followed by the media like we're their puppies starving for attention.  It's pathetic.  It has almost become a competition among kids now to see who can be the most offensive.  In this age where "bad publicity is still publicity," we are witnessing the downfall of our younger generations.
   But kids and media aren't the only ones we can blame.  This all starts with the parents.  Granted I'm not a parent, but I have seen enough parents in my life to know that we are witnessing some of the worst parenting the world has ever experienced.  Part of it is the parents themselves.  Moms who "need a break" from their child, so they dump the kid off in front of a TV while they go have a spa day or whatever.  Dads who don't even care enough about their kids to stop for a minute and see how their days went.  Parents who are so concerned about getting rich and looking cool to their friends, that kids become an afterthought.  This unprecedented level of selfishness is definitely spurring the bad behavior.  Kids have no guidance, and believe it or not they DO need to be shown the difference between right and wrong or they will have a tough time distinguishing it on their own.
   And finally, there's society.  More specifically, the pussification of society.  You may remember a few years ago when I complained about new rules on the playground and in schools.  No longer were you able to have competitive sports.  EVERYONE had to win, and EVERYONE had to get a trophy.  Then I complained about California trying to outlaw spanking.  Then I complained about schools not being able to adequately discipline children, because parents were complaining all the time and forcing the schools to back off.  Well these same children are now getting older and reaching the age where they are becoming adults.
   We are starting to see the side effects of the rules that we as a society put in place so many years ago... and I think we're all going to regret it.  These kids grew up thinking they were WAY cooler than they are.  They've never tasted humble pie, so they think they are absolutely invincible.  They were never taught morals, or good sportsmanship, or how to accept loss or failure.  They were never disciplined for being bad.  They received a good talking-to, or maybe they were put in time out, but they never had their butts whipped with a belt, which I GUARANTEE you sticks with someone better than a stern warning.
   So my question to our so-called "leaders" is this: what do you think?  How are your plans of equality, niceness, and civility working out for us now?  How does it feel to look at videos like this and know that this is a direct result of the rules you were so passionate about a few years ago?  And to parents: how does it feel knowing that your spa day was so important that you forgot that a life depended on your guidance and example?  How does it feel knowing that your selfishness and inability to cope with ANY sort of difficulty in life has turned your child into a punk ass bitch?  And finally, to the media: controversy sells, but how far will you go to make money?  How does it feel knowing that a little whiney brat like Justin Beiber, or a spoiled little witch like Lindsay Lohan, while putting dollars in your pockets, is actively ruining society?  Are you comfortable knowing that you have a direct hand in making things worse for all of us?  GROW UP PEOPLE.  YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES.  Honestly, it makes me not even want to have kids.  It seems cruel to bring anyone into this world right now...

Unknown

   From Netflix: Liam Neeson stars in this taut thriller as a man who regains consciousness after an auto accident only to discover that another man is impersonating him, and that no one -- not even his wife (January Jones) -- recognizes his identity as the real Dr. Martin Harris. Finding himself with an unexpected ally (Diane Kruger), Harris struggles to solve the mystery and hang onto his own wits, while also being stalked by anonymous killers.
   My Take: Liam Neeson wakes up not knowing who he is... stalked by unknown killers... and kicking ass?  Absolutely count me in.  That's what I said to myself when I saw the trailer for this movie.  But, as we all know, movie trailers can be deceiving... and this, unfortunately is one of those trailers.
   While there is far less ass kicking in this movie than I believe was originally promised, "Unknown" still delivers on all the other counts.  It's a very twisty-turny story, and the big twist I have to admit caught me completely off-guard.  Unfortunately this looks like it was a movie that was founded on a good twist, and then the rest of the movie was written around that twist.
   It just doesn't feel like much thought went into the rest of the film.  There are quite a few loose ends that didn't feel like they really got tied up.  Things I don't want to get into here because it would ruin the movie, but things that I think you'll notice if you decide to watch it.  I get that memory is a funny thing, and I guess that could work as an excuse, but it just seems like they hid behind memory-loss to mask quite a few problems with the plot or script.
   And January Jones, while smoking hot, SUCKS as an actress.  Stick to modeling.  Or maybe Playboy.
   So the ultimate question: is this movie worth your time?  Depends.  If you're looking for another "Taken," this probably isn't for you.  Liam's not the badass that the trailer might have you believe.  Well he kind of is, but you'll just have to watch.  It is an entertaining and twisty story that I think will catch you by surprise.  And January Jones is hot.  So yeah, if you don't have anything better to do, give it a shot I guess.


   And finally, in a bit of sad news, Jim Carey has apparently decided he doesn't want to participate in a Dumb & Dumber sequel.  Or, to hear it from him, that the studio wasn't committing enough.  Whatever the reason, it looks like the sequel won't be made.  Sad to hear, but really do you want to mess with perfection?  The original is still one of the best comedies I have EVER seen.  While it was exciting to see the possibility of more of the same, perhaps the risks outweighed the reward.  And to be honest, Jim Cary hasn't really been that funny lately anyway.