Short and sweet today, folks, I got a lot goin' on and time is short. Congratulations to BP for employing their "Top Kill" method, which is easily the best name for anything ever. It may or may not work (looking good so far but who knows)... but this oil spill is going to ruin the gulf for a long, long time.
You already know that. What I find especially entertaining about this whole thing is that NOW our president is speaking out. He waits until the threat appears to be under control, and then swoops in acting like he's been ahead of the game and on top of this whole thing from the get-go. Nice try by his publicity people, but I'm hoping that I'm not the only one who sees through this. Not only is holding a Q&A today too little too late, it's also an insult to those BP employees who have been working their asses off for weeks trying to figure this thing out. Think of it like this: your college professor puts an unsolvable math problem on the board for extra credit. You spend weeks with your friends working on it, and you finally come up with a solution that works. The next week your college professor gives a speech at some luncheon or something, and claims that he has solved the problem. That's basically what's going on here.
Keep your eyes open, that's all I'm sayin.'
IT'S ALIVE
We might be witnessing something very special. We might actually be seeing the beginning of our end, in action. Apparently, some "brilliant" (read: mad) scientist has created life in a laboratory, and it's creating all kinds of controversy.
Let's set aside for the moment the accusations that this guy is trying to play God. I'm sure this will have all kinds of medical and scientific benefits in the short-term. My concern is where this will go in the LONG-term. Forget cloning a human... why not just create one from scratch? And while you're at it, give them a smaller brain and super-strength, so they will work for us like slaves. Sounds like the open to a show I used to watch, and as I remember things were pretty rough for the humans in that show.
We're on the cusp of some pretty amazing shit right now. The technological, scientific, and medical advances we're going to see within our lifetimes will blow you away. I just hope they blow you away like in your mind, and not literally.
Body of Lies
A CIA Agent working in Iraq finds himself fighting the war on terror on two fronts: one trying to track down and kill a new, elusive, and dangerous enemy; the other trying to keep his superiors from screwing up his entire operation. In the course of trying to accomplish his mission he runs into frustration, confusion, and enough twists that even he is lost in his own stories.
I sat on this movie for a long time. To be honest, it just didn't look that appealing to me. Leonardo DiCaprio as a CIA Agent? Russell Crowe as a fat corporate armchair quarterback? No thanks. But last night I finally popped this sucker in, and I'm actually kinda glad I did.
First, the acting. Leonardo DiCaprio surprised me once again. He was playing a role that might have worked better for Tom Cruise, "Mission Impossible" style, but he actually pulled it off and did a good job. And Russell Crowe was no slouch either. From a gladiator to a pot-bellied family man, he nailed it. I couldn't tell you the names of any of the other actors, but I will say that no one in this movie stuck out. Everyone was convincing without being over the top, and I never felt like I had a message crammed down my throat.
However, there was a message, which I believe was well-told: this movie does a fantastic job of illustrating just how backwards things are in that part of the world. It really illustrates their hatred for us, and how little we understand about their culture and the way they operate militarily. It also suggests (which I agree with) that the Middle Eastern Intelligence and Police forces can handle the problems over there much better than we can, and in fact we're in the way more often than not. Makes sense to me.
The best part, though, is that this is all hidden in some serious action and some great cinematography. I have to imagine that this movie was fun to shoot... lots of helicopter and satellite-level shots, and all in the desert. It looked pretty on blu-ray as well. My only complaint is that the audio was VERY low throughout the movie. I had my stereo jacked way up, and I still lost some of the lines. That's just inexscusable.
So, overall, this movie was a surprising little gem. It's not one you hear a lot about, and definitely a departure for Ridley Scott. It wasn't so much "epic" as it was "modern," but it still had a fantastic feel. Fewer twists than I expected, but in a way that actually made it more enjoyable (since I kinda knew what was going on). Definitely worth a rental, especially if you're running low on action flicks or have a weird obsession with fat Russell Crowe.
Alright homies, sorry this was so brief. I'm sure you were really upset. All two of you who read this. Have a good one...
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Think of the Children
How low can the human race go in our search for entertainment? It's an open question. Personally I've seen it sink pretty low, especially in the last few years. Some landmarks of new lows: Paris Hilton. TMZ. Jerry Springer. Reality TV. Lindsay Lohan. SurReality TV (an example would be VH1's mockery of Reality TV). American Idol. OctoMom. I could go on... and on... and on...
And this past week, I believe I saw humanity sink once again. We've always loved our child stars. Shows like "Star Search" and even "American Idol" put children into the forefront of entertainment, and as the ratings showed, Americans loved it. But what was the cost of this obsession with entertainment? How many child stars have we seen turn into deragned, psychopathic, suicidal maniacs? Is our hunger for the "next big thing" worth destroying people's lives?
Apparently it is, because we've been doing it for years. The fact that someone like Kim Kardashian can't walk out of a restaurant at lunch time on a Thursday without being COMPLETELY MOBBED by paparazzi, is one of the saddest things I think I've ever seen. The fact that the only way an actor can remain famous is by getting high on meth and crashing his car into a bus full of children, makes me want to vomit. We curse these people for acting so stupid, yet we encourage their stupidity by constantly flocking to entertainment shows and websites. We tell them that's what we want to see, and then we get angry when they do it. Is that right? No. Is it stupid? Yes. Does it need to stop? Absolutely.
So, I present to you two examples of this "sinking of humanity" in motion, and beg you to do your part in stopping it.
#1: The Piano Kid: Here's a sixth grade boy who decided to play a Lady Gaga song at his school's talent show. Lady Gaga should be added to that list up there. Anyway, this kid played and sang and he was impressive. My favorite part of the video is the expression on the girls' faces behind him, like he's totally blowing them away. This is every kid's dream, and I'm sure this guy's popularity just went through the roof. AT SCHOOL. Unfortunately, this child is now considered a world phenom, picked up by every major news network and even featured on "Ellen." He's got an agent. He's got a record deal. He's got problems. This kid is talented, yes... but there are a million talented kids out there. That's part of what's great about being a kid... you can do anything. But to turn this kid into the next Justin Bieber is a mistake. Justin Bieber is a mistake. To call Bieber the next Elvis or the next Beatles is blasphemy. And yet I sit here watching 13 and 14 year old girls CRY when the dude sings. Why? why? why?
#2: The Dancing Girls: You may notice that this video has been pulled. That's because (thankfully), people realized what a terrible, horrible mistake this was and complained enough that finally they yanked it. If you haven't seen it or heard about it, it basically showed a bunch of very young girls (think like, 7 years old), dancing on stage to a Beyonce song, wearing nothing but lingerie. Let me say that again. Young children dancing in nothing but their underwear.
Let's set aside for a minute how stupid it was for this dance instructor to even think this was a remotely good idea. Let's go instead after the person who posted this on YouTube. That means someone approved of this activity enough to put it out on the web. The World Wide Web, key here being World Wide, and other key being that it's full of sickos who spend the entire day scouring the web just for this kind of stuff to do God knows what to. Great idea fool!
Yet, before this video got pulled, it still made Network News. True, it was because they were asking the question "is this ethical or right?" but just the fact that it's getting this much attention sickens me. This type of stuff should not make the news, period. It should stay in its local area, or be used in a court of law to try to get the dance instructor fired or fined or imprisoned or whatever.
Okay I'm getting off topic. My point here is that we, as a country, as human beings, need to take a step back from this new obsession we've developed. In our quest to be entertained, we are ruining the lives of the people involved. Sure, some of them deserve it (ahem, Paris), but some of them are innocent (think of the children of the Octomom... what kind of life are they going to have?). Are our lives so boring that this is what we've resorted to? Don't we have something better to do? If not, then man... we're in trouble.
Real Slick
You might not think it's anything important, especially if you don't live along the Gulf Coast... but that little "oil spill" you hear about every now and then is actually a huge frickin' deal. As you read this, there are multiple EXPLOSIVE leaks literally blasting oil out into the ocean. I've heard all kinds of numbers... 5,000 barrels a day, the Exxon-Valdeez every four days, I've also heard that it's all a lie and it's much worse than BP or the media are letting on... regardless, this is an enormous problem that will haunt us for decades, and it just isn't getting the attention it deserves.
When the leak first erupted I thought it was BP's problem. They're a big company, they brought on this problem, it was their responsibility to handle it. The government had no place in the equation... it wasn't their responsibility to use our tax dollars to clean up a mess made by a big corporation. HOWEVER, I have since changed my mind. This problem is way too big to leave in the hands of any private company. This is going to take the resources of an entire country to clean up... and once the job is done, just send the bill to BP. Sure it might bankrupt the company but hey, that's the game you play.
And yet, where is the government? Where is our president? I think I heard yesterday that he's calling for an investigation into what caused this leak. He's calling for investigations while millions and millions of gallons of oil are gushing into the gulf. Either way you look at it, billions of dollars and years of precious oil are escaping, while the environment is getting absolutely raped... and he wants an investigation? What in the world is going on here?
I heard some conservative nutjob (Limbaugh I think) say that this is "Obama's Katrina," and then I saw that a bunch of Liberal nutjobs were pissed off about that comparison. Well, you should be pissed because believe it or not, Rush is right. Look at the grilling Bush got for Katrina, and why? Because it took him two days to get down there? Can you imagine if Bush hadn't even done that, if instead he was calling for investigations while people were still trying to find where their houses had floated off to? It would be media mayhem! Or can you imagine if Bush were president now, during this whole gulf spill? It would be on 24/7, people complaining about how our President only cares about Big Oil and doesn't give a damn about the people of this country, the environment, or the wildlife being killed off as a result of this leak.
So I ask you, isn't that what's going on right now? Who is to say that Barack Obama can't be swayed by big oil? This is a guy who just recently allowed for more offshore drilling... and while I'm in agreement with that, I don't agree with the way people act like he's impervious to payoffs and invincible in the face of corporate greed. Someone told me yesterday that corporate greed is what caused this leak. I disagree. I think an honest accident (OR KOREAN TORPEDO!) caused the leak... but corporate greed is what's keeping it from being cleaned up as quickly as it should. And I think if you set aside the fact that our president is a minority, that he's "historic," that he's "young and inspiring," you will find that he is a man who is lost, who got in over his head with this whole oil thing and now is scrambling to try to figure out what to do about it. Hey, I voted for the guy... but I also calls 'em how I sees 'em. Maybe Bush should be consulted here, since he apparently knows a thing or two about oil...
"If you care about it so much why aren't you down there cleaning up animals and stuff?" That's the question I'm sure some of you people are wanting to ask me. Well, this has nothing to do with cleaning up animals. My point is that this should have never reached the point where we have to clean anything up. This oil should not have reached Louisiana's shores. The National Guard should have been out there bombing the shit out of that well, or drilling a new one like crazy, or something other than just floating around or putting up a wimpy net to try to catch billions of gallons of destruction.
Like I said before, this mess is going to haunt us for decades. The environmental and economical damage is going to be astronomical, and yet you watch: our president is going to come out of it squeaky clean. A man who has failed to act in an event not unlike Katrina or 9/11 isn't getting any attention. No one is. Watch the news and see how much time is devoted to this oil spill. I'll bet you see more about Travolta's new baby on the way, or China's Stock Market, than you will see about real news that has a direct impact on millions of lives, and is happening right now in our own backyard.
Thoughts on Reach
I'm a pretty big "Halo" fan. The original game is what made me buy an Xbox (I was pretty fiercely against them before that game came out), and coming this year is the final game to be made by Bungie in the series: "Halo Reach." The game looks pretty awesome, and the icing on the cake is that they opened up a multiplayer beta for us all to check out and mess around in, in the hopes that it will give them more information for the final game. Betas are a great idea, but I also think direct feedback is good. Bungie posted a "Reach Survey" on their website, but it was only to talk about their web interface... so in disappointment, here are the things I would LIKE to tell Bungie about "Reach." Have you played the Beta? Do you agree? Do you disagree? Let me know.
The Look and Feel: "Reach" is gorgeous. Even in this (what I expect is an) early phase, the game looks better than Halo 3 and plays smoother as well. When I first loaded up the game I was a little worried, because it just didn't feel like a "Halo" game... but the more I played it, the happier I was with it. The controls actually feel tighter than previous games, and the explosion effects are unmatched. I also really like the sound-design... there's nothing quite like having a grenade blow up near you and hearing your ears ring while trying to fend of the blue team. The atmosphere is much more immersive, which makes the game much more immersive, and better.
The Weapons: Bungie has done a great job of beefing up the feel of their weapons. They look better and sound better and just generally feel more powerful. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be the case in practice. Unlike previous Halo games, it takes a very long time to drop an opponent in this game. Unless you hit every single shot, you're going to burn through an entire Assault Rifle Clip, and chances are you'll use up some pistol ammo too. I know there are some nutjobs out there who will practice this and get really good at it, but there were multiple instances in this beta where my opponent and I both depleted all of our ammo on both weapons and were swinging at each other to try to finish each other off. That is NOT Halo. It feels like Bungie has gone out of their way to make it very difficult for anyone to take out more than one person before being taken out in this game. Unless you pick up a power weapon (like the rocket launcher, shotgun, or sword), chances are you won't be seeing any double-kills or killing sprees. Grenades are also surprisingly hard to come by (and way overpowered), which adds a new/ridiculous element to the once strategic gameplay. Rather than conserve your ammo and take precise shots, these games often turned into trigger fests with people constantly firing at one another and praying that they can land a melee shot and get out of the way of the grenade thrown across the map by an opportunist. Hell they even made an "opportunist" award for the chumps who sit back while you deplete your ammo, only to ruin your narrow victory by landing a grenade at your feet or a pistol shot in your head. To summarize: make more weapons more powerful. Make the DMR and the Needle Rifle worth picking up. Don't let someone with an assault rifle take me out from long-distance before I can kill them with a weapon I had to search to find.
The Vehicles: To be honest, I only drove one vehicle in this game: a warthog, and only for a minute. It felt exactly like the Warthog in Halo 3. I know there may be some tweaks still on the vechicles, and the Halo 3 vehicles drove plenty nice... but what I really want is a return to Halo 1's vehicles. Give me the low gravity, the invincibility, and the fun. Sure it wasn't as realistic that a rocket would send a warthog flipping through the air... but it was awesome! There was nothing more enjoyable in the original Halo than having a warthog come directly at you, throwing a grenade in front of it sending it flying over your head, and shotgunning the poor bastard as he passed you by in the driver's seat. Bring it back Bungie, at least as a variant in the gametypes... bring it back.
Matchmaking: Bungie has always been a gamechanger with their online content, and "Reach" looks to once again raise the bar. Not much has changed other than the speed in which games are found, and the fact that you automatically cling to good party members after a game ends. That's a great feature... but what I like the most is the addition of voting for gametypes. In Halo 3, you were given a game type and the opportunity to veto it. If enough people vetoed, then you got another gametype, for better or worse. In Reach, you're given 3 choices and a "none of the above." Chances are one of the choices will be good, but if you do none of the above you're given 3 MORE choices. Brilliant. I can't wait to see what else they add to Matchmaking in the final game.
Expectations: I think Bungie has got a fantastic game in the works here, but they've got some work to do before it's going to become truly brilliant (at least by my standards). The weapons need to be made as powerful as they sound. The grenades need to be toned down and more available. The vehicles need to be returned to their previous, perfect form. And (most impossibly), the nerdy fat kids who yell all the time need to be punched in the face very, very hard. Can't wait for the holidays...
Iron Man 2
Tony Stark and friends return for another exciting adventure in their Metal Suits. This time, some smart Russian dude who hates Tony decides to build his own knockoff super power supply and, by teaming up with Stark's competition, creates evil suits of armor. But Iron Man has a few tricks up his sleeve, as does his friend Jim Rhodes. Who wins? You.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: Iron Man is easily the coolest Super Hero ever conceived. I know he started off as sort of a background guy, and whackjobs like Captain America got all the publicity... but ever since I was a kid, Iron Man has been my favorite. I've got old comics, trading cards, action figures... you name it. If it was Iron Man, I was all about it. Oh, except for that stupid cartoon... nice try fellas. Anyway, I loved the first Iron Man movie (enough to buy a blu-ray player just so I could see it). My question going into this one was, can it live up to what was started?
The answer is a definitive "yes." John Favreau has really outdone himself in this sequel. I was a little nervous about this guy handling the Iron Man franchise, but you can tell by the way he's treated the material that he is a true Iron Man fan. He's made a wise choice by staying away from the comic side of things, including Iron Man's stupid nemesis The Mandarin (are you kidding me??). He's kept the movie in the real world, and while that may be risky, the result has been more batman and less... well... batman. The point is, this movie may be a little far-fetched, but it is completely believable. Seriously, if you had enough money, you could potentially create a suit like this. And that, my friends, is my goal.
My favorite things about this movie: more time was spent in the suit. There was a lot more action, a lot more gadgets, and a lot more stuff blowing up. Don Cheadle actually did a good job as Rhodes (he may not LOOK the part like Terrence Howard did, but Howard should be kneed in the nuts for the crap he pulled so it's good to see Cheadle step up and make it work). Mickey Rourke was awesome, as was Sam Rockwell. They've done a nice job of integrating S.H.I.E.L.D. into the mix, as well as alluding to the Avengers. The critics said Scarlett Johansen was a waste, but I didn't feel that way at all. Plus she'll most likely show up again in future movies.
Which brings me to my one disappointment in this entire movie: what happened after the credits. I won't give it away, but I will say that it concerns me. I understand what Marvel is trying to do, use a million different movies to tell the backstories of one big finale ("The Avengers," anyone?)... but some SuperHeroes should probably just be left out. I worry that this whole idea is going to turn into something like the "X-Men" movies... fun to watch, but ultimately hokey and full of characters who feel like they were just cammed in for the sake of having them.
Something else I've said before, and I will say again: don't listen to the critics. They said this movie was too complicated, that there was too much going on. They were wrong. They said Johannsen shouldn't have been in the movie. They were wrong. They said they knew what they were talking about. They (especially the assbags at Rotten Tomatos) are (always) WRONG.
See this movie. See it in theatres if you can. See it on the biggest possible screen, and see it with friends. Then buy it on DVD or blu-ray or 3d whatever you can. Show the studios that you appreciate good cinema, and that you are willing to pay if they're willing to put in the work. And to the makers/stars/etc of this movie: bravo, well done, and keep 'em comin.'
Adios.
And this past week, I believe I saw humanity sink once again. We've always loved our child stars. Shows like "Star Search" and even "American Idol" put children into the forefront of entertainment, and as the ratings showed, Americans loved it. But what was the cost of this obsession with entertainment? How many child stars have we seen turn into deragned, psychopathic, suicidal maniacs? Is our hunger for the "next big thing" worth destroying people's lives?
Apparently it is, because we've been doing it for years. The fact that someone like Kim Kardashian can't walk out of a restaurant at lunch time on a Thursday without being COMPLETELY MOBBED by paparazzi, is one of the saddest things I think I've ever seen. The fact that the only way an actor can remain famous is by getting high on meth and crashing his car into a bus full of children, makes me want to vomit. We curse these people for acting so stupid, yet we encourage their stupidity by constantly flocking to entertainment shows and websites. We tell them that's what we want to see, and then we get angry when they do it. Is that right? No. Is it stupid? Yes. Does it need to stop? Absolutely.
So, I present to you two examples of this "sinking of humanity" in motion, and beg you to do your part in stopping it.
#1: The Piano Kid: Here's a sixth grade boy who decided to play a Lady Gaga song at his school's talent show. Lady Gaga should be added to that list up there. Anyway, this kid played and sang and he was impressive. My favorite part of the video is the expression on the girls' faces behind him, like he's totally blowing them away. This is every kid's dream, and I'm sure this guy's popularity just went through the roof. AT SCHOOL. Unfortunately, this child is now considered a world phenom, picked up by every major news network and even featured on "Ellen." He's got an agent. He's got a record deal. He's got problems. This kid is talented, yes... but there are a million talented kids out there. That's part of what's great about being a kid... you can do anything. But to turn this kid into the next Justin Bieber is a mistake. Justin Bieber is a mistake. To call Bieber the next Elvis or the next Beatles is blasphemy. And yet I sit here watching 13 and 14 year old girls CRY when the dude sings. Why? why? why?
#2: The Dancing Girls: You may notice that this video has been pulled. That's because (thankfully), people realized what a terrible, horrible mistake this was and complained enough that finally they yanked it. If you haven't seen it or heard about it, it basically showed a bunch of very young girls (think like, 7 years old), dancing on stage to a Beyonce song, wearing nothing but lingerie. Let me say that again. Young children dancing in nothing but their underwear.
Let's set aside for a minute how stupid it was for this dance instructor to even think this was a remotely good idea. Let's go instead after the person who posted this on YouTube. That means someone approved of this activity enough to put it out on the web. The World Wide Web, key here being World Wide, and other key being that it's full of sickos who spend the entire day scouring the web just for this kind of stuff to do God knows what to. Great idea fool!
Yet, before this video got pulled, it still made Network News. True, it was because they were asking the question "is this ethical or right?" but just the fact that it's getting this much attention sickens me. This type of stuff should not make the news, period. It should stay in its local area, or be used in a court of law to try to get the dance instructor fired or fined or imprisoned or whatever.
Okay I'm getting off topic. My point here is that we, as a country, as human beings, need to take a step back from this new obsession we've developed. In our quest to be entertained, we are ruining the lives of the people involved. Sure, some of them deserve it (ahem, Paris), but some of them are innocent (think of the children of the Octomom... what kind of life are they going to have?). Are our lives so boring that this is what we've resorted to? Don't we have something better to do? If not, then man... we're in trouble.
Real Slick
You might not think it's anything important, especially if you don't live along the Gulf Coast... but that little "oil spill" you hear about every now and then is actually a huge frickin' deal. As you read this, there are multiple EXPLOSIVE leaks literally blasting oil out into the ocean. I've heard all kinds of numbers... 5,000 barrels a day, the Exxon-Valdeez every four days, I've also heard that it's all a lie and it's much worse than BP or the media are letting on... regardless, this is an enormous problem that will haunt us for decades, and it just isn't getting the attention it deserves.
When the leak first erupted I thought it was BP's problem. They're a big company, they brought on this problem, it was their responsibility to handle it. The government had no place in the equation... it wasn't their responsibility to use our tax dollars to clean up a mess made by a big corporation. HOWEVER, I have since changed my mind. This problem is way too big to leave in the hands of any private company. This is going to take the resources of an entire country to clean up... and once the job is done, just send the bill to BP. Sure it might bankrupt the company but hey, that's the game you play.
And yet, where is the government? Where is our president? I think I heard yesterday that he's calling for an investigation into what caused this leak. He's calling for investigations while millions and millions of gallons of oil are gushing into the gulf. Either way you look at it, billions of dollars and years of precious oil are escaping, while the environment is getting absolutely raped... and he wants an investigation? What in the world is going on here?
I heard some conservative nutjob (Limbaugh I think) say that this is "Obama's Katrina," and then I saw that a bunch of Liberal nutjobs were pissed off about that comparison. Well, you should be pissed because believe it or not, Rush is right. Look at the grilling Bush got for Katrina, and why? Because it took him two days to get down there? Can you imagine if Bush hadn't even done that, if instead he was calling for investigations while people were still trying to find where their houses had floated off to? It would be media mayhem! Or can you imagine if Bush were president now, during this whole gulf spill? It would be on 24/7, people complaining about how our President only cares about Big Oil and doesn't give a damn about the people of this country, the environment, or the wildlife being killed off as a result of this leak.
So I ask you, isn't that what's going on right now? Who is to say that Barack Obama can't be swayed by big oil? This is a guy who just recently allowed for more offshore drilling... and while I'm in agreement with that, I don't agree with the way people act like he's impervious to payoffs and invincible in the face of corporate greed. Someone told me yesterday that corporate greed is what caused this leak. I disagree. I think an honest accident (OR KOREAN TORPEDO!) caused the leak... but corporate greed is what's keeping it from being cleaned up as quickly as it should. And I think if you set aside the fact that our president is a minority, that he's "historic," that he's "young and inspiring," you will find that he is a man who is lost, who got in over his head with this whole oil thing and now is scrambling to try to figure out what to do about it. Hey, I voted for the guy... but I also calls 'em how I sees 'em. Maybe Bush should be consulted here, since he apparently knows a thing or two about oil...
"If you care about it so much why aren't you down there cleaning up animals and stuff?" That's the question I'm sure some of you people are wanting to ask me. Well, this has nothing to do with cleaning up animals. My point is that this should have never reached the point where we have to clean anything up. This oil should not have reached Louisiana's shores. The National Guard should have been out there bombing the shit out of that well, or drilling a new one like crazy, or something other than just floating around or putting up a wimpy net to try to catch billions of gallons of destruction.
Like I said before, this mess is going to haunt us for decades. The environmental and economical damage is going to be astronomical, and yet you watch: our president is going to come out of it squeaky clean. A man who has failed to act in an event not unlike Katrina or 9/11 isn't getting any attention. No one is. Watch the news and see how much time is devoted to this oil spill. I'll bet you see more about Travolta's new baby on the way, or China's Stock Market, than you will see about real news that has a direct impact on millions of lives, and is happening right now in our own backyard.
Thoughts on Reach
I'm a pretty big "Halo" fan. The original game is what made me buy an Xbox (I was pretty fiercely against them before that game came out), and coming this year is the final game to be made by Bungie in the series: "Halo Reach." The game looks pretty awesome, and the icing on the cake is that they opened up a multiplayer beta for us all to check out and mess around in, in the hopes that it will give them more information for the final game. Betas are a great idea, but I also think direct feedback is good. Bungie posted a "Reach Survey" on their website, but it was only to talk about their web interface... so in disappointment, here are the things I would LIKE to tell Bungie about "Reach." Have you played the Beta? Do you agree? Do you disagree? Let me know.
The Look and Feel: "Reach" is gorgeous. Even in this (what I expect is an) early phase, the game looks better than Halo 3 and plays smoother as well. When I first loaded up the game I was a little worried, because it just didn't feel like a "Halo" game... but the more I played it, the happier I was with it. The controls actually feel tighter than previous games, and the explosion effects are unmatched. I also really like the sound-design... there's nothing quite like having a grenade blow up near you and hearing your ears ring while trying to fend of the blue team. The atmosphere is much more immersive, which makes the game much more immersive, and better.
The Weapons: Bungie has done a great job of beefing up the feel of their weapons. They look better and sound better and just generally feel more powerful. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be the case in practice. Unlike previous Halo games, it takes a very long time to drop an opponent in this game. Unless you hit every single shot, you're going to burn through an entire Assault Rifle Clip, and chances are you'll use up some pistol ammo too. I know there are some nutjobs out there who will practice this and get really good at it, but there were multiple instances in this beta where my opponent and I both depleted all of our ammo on both weapons and were swinging at each other to try to finish each other off. That is NOT Halo. It feels like Bungie has gone out of their way to make it very difficult for anyone to take out more than one person before being taken out in this game. Unless you pick up a power weapon (like the rocket launcher, shotgun, or sword), chances are you won't be seeing any double-kills or killing sprees. Grenades are also surprisingly hard to come by (and way overpowered), which adds a new/ridiculous element to the once strategic gameplay. Rather than conserve your ammo and take precise shots, these games often turned into trigger fests with people constantly firing at one another and praying that they can land a melee shot and get out of the way of the grenade thrown across the map by an opportunist. Hell they even made an "opportunist" award for the chumps who sit back while you deplete your ammo, only to ruin your narrow victory by landing a grenade at your feet or a pistol shot in your head. To summarize: make more weapons more powerful. Make the DMR and the Needle Rifle worth picking up. Don't let someone with an assault rifle take me out from long-distance before I can kill them with a weapon I had to search to find.
The Vehicles: To be honest, I only drove one vehicle in this game: a warthog, and only for a minute. It felt exactly like the Warthog in Halo 3. I know there may be some tweaks still on the vechicles, and the Halo 3 vehicles drove plenty nice... but what I really want is a return to Halo 1's vehicles. Give me the low gravity, the invincibility, and the fun. Sure it wasn't as realistic that a rocket would send a warthog flipping through the air... but it was awesome! There was nothing more enjoyable in the original Halo than having a warthog come directly at you, throwing a grenade in front of it sending it flying over your head, and shotgunning the poor bastard as he passed you by in the driver's seat. Bring it back Bungie, at least as a variant in the gametypes... bring it back.
Matchmaking: Bungie has always been a gamechanger with their online content, and "Reach" looks to once again raise the bar. Not much has changed other than the speed in which games are found, and the fact that you automatically cling to good party members after a game ends. That's a great feature... but what I like the most is the addition of voting for gametypes. In Halo 3, you were given a game type and the opportunity to veto it. If enough people vetoed, then you got another gametype, for better or worse. In Reach, you're given 3 choices and a "none of the above." Chances are one of the choices will be good, but if you do none of the above you're given 3 MORE choices. Brilliant. I can't wait to see what else they add to Matchmaking in the final game.
Expectations: I think Bungie has got a fantastic game in the works here, but they've got some work to do before it's going to become truly brilliant (at least by my standards). The weapons need to be made as powerful as they sound. The grenades need to be toned down and more available. The vehicles need to be returned to their previous, perfect form. And (most impossibly), the nerdy fat kids who yell all the time need to be punched in the face very, very hard. Can't wait for the holidays...
Iron Man 2
Tony Stark and friends return for another exciting adventure in their Metal Suits. This time, some smart Russian dude who hates Tony decides to build his own knockoff super power supply and, by teaming up with Stark's competition, creates evil suits of armor. But Iron Man has a few tricks up his sleeve, as does his friend Jim Rhodes. Who wins? You.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: Iron Man is easily the coolest Super Hero ever conceived. I know he started off as sort of a background guy, and whackjobs like Captain America got all the publicity... but ever since I was a kid, Iron Man has been my favorite. I've got old comics, trading cards, action figures... you name it. If it was Iron Man, I was all about it. Oh, except for that stupid cartoon... nice try fellas. Anyway, I loved the first Iron Man movie (enough to buy a blu-ray player just so I could see it). My question going into this one was, can it live up to what was started?
The answer is a definitive "yes." John Favreau has really outdone himself in this sequel. I was a little nervous about this guy handling the Iron Man franchise, but you can tell by the way he's treated the material that he is a true Iron Man fan. He's made a wise choice by staying away from the comic side of things, including Iron Man's stupid nemesis The Mandarin (are you kidding me??). He's kept the movie in the real world, and while that may be risky, the result has been more batman and less... well... batman. The point is, this movie may be a little far-fetched, but it is completely believable. Seriously, if you had enough money, you could potentially create a suit like this. And that, my friends, is my goal.
My favorite things about this movie: more time was spent in the suit. There was a lot more action, a lot more gadgets, and a lot more stuff blowing up. Don Cheadle actually did a good job as Rhodes (he may not LOOK the part like Terrence Howard did, but Howard should be kneed in the nuts for the crap he pulled so it's good to see Cheadle step up and make it work). Mickey Rourke was awesome, as was Sam Rockwell. They've done a nice job of integrating S.H.I.E.L.D. into the mix, as well as alluding to the Avengers. The critics said Scarlett Johansen was a waste, but I didn't feel that way at all. Plus she'll most likely show up again in future movies.
Which brings me to my one disappointment in this entire movie: what happened after the credits. I won't give it away, but I will say that it concerns me. I understand what Marvel is trying to do, use a million different movies to tell the backstories of one big finale ("The Avengers," anyone?)... but some SuperHeroes should probably just be left out. I worry that this whole idea is going to turn into something like the "X-Men" movies... fun to watch, but ultimately hokey and full of characters who feel like they were just cammed in for the sake of having them.
Something else I've said before, and I will say again: don't listen to the critics. They said this movie was too complicated, that there was too much going on. They were wrong. They said Johannsen shouldn't have been in the movie. They were wrong. They said they knew what they were talking about. They (especially the assbags at Rotten Tomatos) are (always) WRONG.
See this movie. See it in theatres if you can. See it on the biggest possible screen, and see it with friends. Then buy it on DVD or blu-ray or 3d whatever you can. Show the studios that you appreciate good cinema, and that you are willing to pay if they're willing to put in the work. And to the makers/stars/etc of this movie: bravo, well done, and keep 'em comin.'
Adios.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
In My Dreams...
For some reason, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about what my "ideal" country would look like... how things would be in the country of my dreams. As you can probably imagine, I have a few changes in mind. I'd love to hear your thoughts (as in leave comments)... here are some of mine.
In my dream country, there would be no government-sponsored discrimination. I understand that there is a lot of personal discrimination on all sides, dealing with race, gender, age, etc. I also realize that there will probably always be some of that... you can't change people. But in my dream country, that personal discrimination would remain personal. There would be no government behind it. People would be hired for a job based solely on their qualifications and work ethic. There would be no presidence given to someone because of their skin color or because of their gender. If you're the best person for the job, you get the job. You also wouldn't be more or less likely to get a loan, you wouldn't get a TV channel dedicated solely to your race or gender, no one would receive any kind of special privilege based on their color or sex... we would all start on a level playing field and let our dedication and hard work be the difference maker.
In my dream country, we wouldn't cater everything to the lowest common denominator. We would understand that in almost every scenario, there will be a winner, and therefore HAS to also be a loser. Instead of feeling pity for the loser, or (even worse) instead of trying to make things easier for the loser and harder for the winner, we would encourage the loser to work harder, to try harder to become a winner. And at the same time, we would encourage that winner to continue to strive to win, to keep his or her position as the best. In this country of my dreams, we would teach our children the value of hard work and the joy of winning... that losing isn't the end of the world, but it's also not something that we should be okay with.
In my dream country, we would welcome LEGAL immigrants with open arms, and help ILLEGAL immigrants to find the correct and legal way to do what they're trying to do (enter my country). We would also understand that even though our system is far from perfect, it's even farther than the systems of other countries (such as Mexico, who is MUCH harsher on illegal immigrants than we are). We would understand that immigrants are people and deserve to be treated as such... that they are no worse or better than any of us, and they should be subject to the same rules and laws as the rest of us. They shouldn't be persecuted, but they shouldn't get special treatment either. They would be seen as people in need, people who have willingly or unwillingly broken the law and who need help understanding and following that law... nothing more, nothing less.
Finally, in my dream country, the government would stay out of my personal business. The government wouldn't tell me what doctor I'm allowed to see, what medications I'm allowed to take, what I'm allowed to eat, what I'm allowed to do in my car, or what I'm allowed to believe. In this outlandish, crazy country, I would be responsible for making my own decisions, and I would be responsible for the consequences of the wrong decisions I make. I would be allowed to go to whatever doctor I wish, based on my income and who I trust. I would be able to eat anything I want, but I would also have to deal with the possibility of obesity or other diseases as a result. Likewise, restaurants would be able to put anything they want into their food, knowing that I have a right to question them and find out what I'm eating... but that while it's my right, it's also my responsibility and no one is going to do it for me. I would be allowed to drive while talking on my cell phone, or not wearing a seatbelt, but then I would have to accept the responsibility and punishment for any damage I cause to myself or others because of my poor decisions. I would have just as much a right to believe in God as the next person has to believe in Allah, or Buddha, or science, or nothing at all. There would be no babysitting in this country, no government to make decisions for us, or to restrict us in any way.
Basically, in my dream country, the word "freedom" means what it's supposed to mean. It's a place where we can all live our lives the way we want to live them... where we have to accept the fact that no one is going to be required to help us, where the only thing we can truly depend on is ourselves, where working harder than the next guy makes a difference, where no one is born "entitled" to anything, where we earn our rights and our livings and where "The American Dream" is less about throwing your money away and acting like a douchebag, and more about working hard, raising a family of good people, being honest and genuine, and dying knowing that you've made a positive difference in this world.
Is that too much to ask?
Old News But Important News
I'm sure by now you've at least heard something about Greece falling into shambles. But just in case you haven't, a quick refresher. The country is basically bankrupt. They're in some serious trouble over there, no one has any money, and people are taking to the streets because they're pretty pissed about the whole thing. Not to mention the chain reaction their market crash is causing all over the world. There have been all kinds of rescue plans debated and argued over, but the real question should be how did it ever get to this point? I'll tell you how, and it's one key thing that I've only heard vaguely mentioned: 60% of Greece's population was on the government's payroll.
This should be a warning to everyone else in the entire world. It should be a red flag of caution, a little insight into what may very well become a reality of any country with that much government control. Ultimately, it fails, and history has proven this time and time again.
Think of it this way: you like big screen TVs, right? In an ideal world, everyone would have a gigantic screen tv on which to watch their favorite programs... but the reality is that you've got to pay for that TV, and a lot of us can't afford very big ones. Luckily, there are a ton of different companies out there making TVs, and some are better than others, and some are cheaper than others. This is good for you because it keeps prices down, but it's good for another reason: if one of those TV makers gets into financial trouble and has to go out of business, you've got plenty of others to choose from. NOW imagine that suddenly the TV makers get together and decide that they're going to join up into one giant TV manufacturer, the idea being that they can lower prices and provide more people with TVs. Say they do it, and say at first it looks great because they've got all this money and extra TVs to throw around. More and more people start getting TVs and everyone's happy, but then there's a problem: some TVs are breaking, and more people are getting their own places and want more than one TV in those places. Suddenly this huge TV manufacturer is bleeding money and having trouble staying functional. Eventually they run out, and are forced to go out of business. Now what? there are no other TV manufacturers left... and so now NOBODY has a TV.
That's a very roundabout way of presenting exactly what's happened in Greece, and what could very easily happen to any other country with that much power. Right now in America, if a company goes under, even a big company, lots of people will lose their jobs, but there will be other jobs that they can find and fight over. It sucks, but it's not the end of the world. However, when the government is the biggest employer in the country, you've got a problem like the TV manufacturers up there. If that employer goes bankrupt, then you've got a LOT more people out of work... to many for the other companies to hire. And you wind up with a situation like the one they've got over there: people pissed because they're trying to feed their families, and the only employer in town has no money left to pay them.
So next time you hear yourself thinking "you know, the government ought to do something about that..." think twice. I used to be that way, I used to say the government should regulate oil prices because of how high gas was getting there for a while... but in any scenario you can think of, government control runs the very probable risk of going down the same road as what's happened in Greece. If you're going to go Communism, you have to go full Communism... you can't try to keep a stock market going and at the same time have everyone in the Government's pocket. You can't have it both ways, unless your China, I guess. And I'm convinced that the only reason China has survived like it has for as long as it has, is because the people in that country are so beaten down that they've just given up on trying to make life better for themselves.
I realize that my weekly entries have gotten very political, and I apologize for that. Here's a movie review to say "I'm sorry."
Legends of the Fall
The epic story of a family -- a father and his three sons -- growing up in the early 1900s in North Dakota. This movie follows each of them as their lives drift apart and come back together... as they face hard times and enjoy good times, and as one woman basically destroys an entire family.
I saw this movie first a long, long time ago... way before I was doing reviews. But I watched it again recently, and I figured it's worth noting here, if for no other reason than to show you a true example of what an "epic" is. This movie is long, but not THAT long... what makes it epic is how much ground it covers. During the course of this movie, we see a father age, go to war, deal with the mafia, and watch one woman's power to wreck everything in the universe. It really is incredible.
There's some truly amazing acting in this movie. Anthony Hopkins = amazing. Brad Pitt was also very good, as usual. But though it's an old-timey movie, takes place in a much cornier age, and has some truly unbelievable situations, not once did it ever feel hokey or forced. Okay maybe once (Brad Pitt riding in from war with a bunch of wild stallions? Please...) but for the most part this movie was right on the level. Everyone was believable, and despite the fact that this woman ruined everything this family had going for it, I even felt a little sorry for her in the end. This isn't a super happy movie... it's not "Australia" with all the cheesy one liners and ridiculously fake scenarios. This movie is much grittier, much more real, and I think it makes a big difference in the end product.
I also just want to say that the soundtrack is amazing. I don't know how these guys come up with themes for movies, and sometimes what they're going for really just doesn't work... but in this case, everything clicked very well. And the cinematography was also pretty incredible. I can only imagine how nice it must be to be able to shoot in incredible locations like North Dakota or Montana or wherever they were. Completely isolated yet surrounded by so much beauty... it's hard to believe places like that actually exist. So bravo on the technical side, very impressive stuff.
Now, should you see this movie? Well, I guess it depends. This certainly isn't one you can just pop in at a party for everyone to enjoy. You've got to be in the right mindset for it. I wouldn't put it on the same level as "Saving Private Ryan" as far as how you feel after the credits roll... but it's not one that's going to leave you in a very good mood either. This family is full of noble, good-hearted people, and they all experience some truly terrible, heartbreaking events. Sounds pretty awesome, right? So if you're ready for that, give it a shot... otherwise, pop in something a little more light-hearted.
Alright folks, that's all I got for now. I promise next time I'll try to get away from politics a little more... until then, PAY ATTENTION.
In my dream country, there would be no government-sponsored discrimination. I understand that there is a lot of personal discrimination on all sides, dealing with race, gender, age, etc. I also realize that there will probably always be some of that... you can't change people. But in my dream country, that personal discrimination would remain personal. There would be no government behind it. People would be hired for a job based solely on their qualifications and work ethic. There would be no presidence given to someone because of their skin color or because of their gender. If you're the best person for the job, you get the job. You also wouldn't be more or less likely to get a loan, you wouldn't get a TV channel dedicated solely to your race or gender, no one would receive any kind of special privilege based on their color or sex... we would all start on a level playing field and let our dedication and hard work be the difference maker.
In my dream country, we wouldn't cater everything to the lowest common denominator. We would understand that in almost every scenario, there will be a winner, and therefore HAS to also be a loser. Instead of feeling pity for the loser, or (even worse) instead of trying to make things easier for the loser and harder for the winner, we would encourage the loser to work harder, to try harder to become a winner. And at the same time, we would encourage that winner to continue to strive to win, to keep his or her position as the best. In this country of my dreams, we would teach our children the value of hard work and the joy of winning... that losing isn't the end of the world, but it's also not something that we should be okay with.
In my dream country, we would welcome LEGAL immigrants with open arms, and help ILLEGAL immigrants to find the correct and legal way to do what they're trying to do (enter my country). We would also understand that even though our system is far from perfect, it's even farther than the systems of other countries (such as Mexico, who is MUCH harsher on illegal immigrants than we are). We would understand that immigrants are people and deserve to be treated as such... that they are no worse or better than any of us, and they should be subject to the same rules and laws as the rest of us. They shouldn't be persecuted, but they shouldn't get special treatment either. They would be seen as people in need, people who have willingly or unwillingly broken the law and who need help understanding and following that law... nothing more, nothing less.
Finally, in my dream country, the government would stay out of my personal business. The government wouldn't tell me what doctor I'm allowed to see, what medications I'm allowed to take, what I'm allowed to eat, what I'm allowed to do in my car, or what I'm allowed to believe. In this outlandish, crazy country, I would be responsible for making my own decisions, and I would be responsible for the consequences of the wrong decisions I make. I would be allowed to go to whatever doctor I wish, based on my income and who I trust. I would be able to eat anything I want, but I would also have to deal with the possibility of obesity or other diseases as a result. Likewise, restaurants would be able to put anything they want into their food, knowing that I have a right to question them and find out what I'm eating... but that while it's my right, it's also my responsibility and no one is going to do it for me. I would be allowed to drive while talking on my cell phone, or not wearing a seatbelt, but then I would have to accept the responsibility and punishment for any damage I cause to myself or others because of my poor decisions. I would have just as much a right to believe in God as the next person has to believe in Allah, or Buddha, or science, or nothing at all. There would be no babysitting in this country, no government to make decisions for us, or to restrict us in any way.
Basically, in my dream country, the word "freedom" means what it's supposed to mean. It's a place where we can all live our lives the way we want to live them... where we have to accept the fact that no one is going to be required to help us, where the only thing we can truly depend on is ourselves, where working harder than the next guy makes a difference, where no one is born "entitled" to anything, where we earn our rights and our livings and where "The American Dream" is less about throwing your money away and acting like a douchebag, and more about working hard, raising a family of good people, being honest and genuine, and dying knowing that you've made a positive difference in this world.
Is that too much to ask?
Old News But Important News
I'm sure by now you've at least heard something about Greece falling into shambles. But just in case you haven't, a quick refresher. The country is basically bankrupt. They're in some serious trouble over there, no one has any money, and people are taking to the streets because they're pretty pissed about the whole thing. Not to mention the chain reaction their market crash is causing all over the world. There have been all kinds of rescue plans debated and argued over, but the real question should be how did it ever get to this point? I'll tell you how, and it's one key thing that I've only heard vaguely mentioned: 60% of Greece's population was on the government's payroll.
This should be a warning to everyone else in the entire world. It should be a red flag of caution, a little insight into what may very well become a reality of any country with that much government control. Ultimately, it fails, and history has proven this time and time again.
Think of it this way: you like big screen TVs, right? In an ideal world, everyone would have a gigantic screen tv on which to watch their favorite programs... but the reality is that you've got to pay for that TV, and a lot of us can't afford very big ones. Luckily, there are a ton of different companies out there making TVs, and some are better than others, and some are cheaper than others. This is good for you because it keeps prices down, but it's good for another reason: if one of those TV makers gets into financial trouble and has to go out of business, you've got plenty of others to choose from. NOW imagine that suddenly the TV makers get together and decide that they're going to join up into one giant TV manufacturer, the idea being that they can lower prices and provide more people with TVs. Say they do it, and say at first it looks great because they've got all this money and extra TVs to throw around. More and more people start getting TVs and everyone's happy, but then there's a problem: some TVs are breaking, and more people are getting their own places and want more than one TV in those places. Suddenly this huge TV manufacturer is bleeding money and having trouble staying functional. Eventually they run out, and are forced to go out of business. Now what? there are no other TV manufacturers left... and so now NOBODY has a TV.
That's a very roundabout way of presenting exactly what's happened in Greece, and what could very easily happen to any other country with that much power. Right now in America, if a company goes under, even a big company, lots of people will lose their jobs, but there will be other jobs that they can find and fight over. It sucks, but it's not the end of the world. However, when the government is the biggest employer in the country, you've got a problem like the TV manufacturers up there. If that employer goes bankrupt, then you've got a LOT more people out of work... to many for the other companies to hire. And you wind up with a situation like the one they've got over there: people pissed because they're trying to feed their families, and the only employer in town has no money left to pay them.
So next time you hear yourself thinking "you know, the government ought to do something about that..." think twice. I used to be that way, I used to say the government should regulate oil prices because of how high gas was getting there for a while... but in any scenario you can think of, government control runs the very probable risk of going down the same road as what's happened in Greece. If you're going to go Communism, you have to go full Communism... you can't try to keep a stock market going and at the same time have everyone in the Government's pocket. You can't have it both ways, unless your China, I guess. And I'm convinced that the only reason China has survived like it has for as long as it has, is because the people in that country are so beaten down that they've just given up on trying to make life better for themselves.
I realize that my weekly entries have gotten very political, and I apologize for that. Here's a movie review to say "I'm sorry."
Legends of the Fall
The epic story of a family -- a father and his three sons -- growing up in the early 1900s in North Dakota. This movie follows each of them as their lives drift apart and come back together... as they face hard times and enjoy good times, and as one woman basically destroys an entire family.
I saw this movie first a long, long time ago... way before I was doing reviews. But I watched it again recently, and I figured it's worth noting here, if for no other reason than to show you a true example of what an "epic" is. This movie is long, but not THAT long... what makes it epic is how much ground it covers. During the course of this movie, we see a father age, go to war, deal with the mafia, and watch one woman's power to wreck everything in the universe. It really is incredible.
There's some truly amazing acting in this movie. Anthony Hopkins = amazing. Brad Pitt was also very good, as usual. But though it's an old-timey movie, takes place in a much cornier age, and has some truly unbelievable situations, not once did it ever feel hokey or forced. Okay maybe once (Brad Pitt riding in from war with a bunch of wild stallions? Please...) but for the most part this movie was right on the level. Everyone was believable, and despite the fact that this woman ruined everything this family had going for it, I even felt a little sorry for her in the end. This isn't a super happy movie... it's not "Australia" with all the cheesy one liners and ridiculously fake scenarios. This movie is much grittier, much more real, and I think it makes a big difference in the end product.
I also just want to say that the soundtrack is amazing. I don't know how these guys come up with themes for movies, and sometimes what they're going for really just doesn't work... but in this case, everything clicked very well. And the cinematography was also pretty incredible. I can only imagine how nice it must be to be able to shoot in incredible locations like North Dakota or Montana or wherever they were. Completely isolated yet surrounded by so much beauty... it's hard to believe places like that actually exist. So bravo on the technical side, very impressive stuff.
Now, should you see this movie? Well, I guess it depends. This certainly isn't one you can just pop in at a party for everyone to enjoy. You've got to be in the right mindset for it. I wouldn't put it on the same level as "Saving Private Ryan" as far as how you feel after the credits roll... but it's not one that's going to leave you in a very good mood either. This family is full of noble, good-hearted people, and they all experience some truly terrible, heartbreaking events. Sounds pretty awesome, right? So if you're ready for that, give it a shot... otherwise, pop in something a little more light-hearted.
Alright folks, that's all I got for now. I promise next time I'll try to get away from politics a little more... until then, PAY ATTENTION.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Cinco De Drinko
Ahh, Cinco De Mayo... next to St. Patrick's day, the best day to celebrate violent drunkenness out of the whole year. A day where people count down the minutes until quittin' time so they can hit their favorite bar and chug until they don't remember where they parked or how they even got to the bar in the first place. What a great holiday, right? Wrong. While it might sound fun on the surface, Cinco De Mayo is a dark, dark "holiday." You won't see me clamoring for a spot at a bar tonight, no sir. And you shouldn't be either... here's why:
It's all about the money: Cinco De Mayo is like a little "Black Friday" for bars. Sure they might get you in there with some kind of great special (2 for 1 on Coronas anyone?), but you will leave having spent more money than you would had you gone to say, a nice dinner instead.
Get ready for jail time: You think cops don't know what today is? I guarantee you they won't be waiting for you to walk out of a donut shop drunk. This is a great opportunity for local cops to meet their ticket quotas so they can take it easy for the rest of the month. If you don't think they're going to be waiting for you when you leave the bar tonight, you truly are a moron.
Houston's Worst come out of hiding: Cinco De Mayo is like a free-for-all for all the douchebags and sluts who make a habit of flaunting their disgustingness. I don't know about you, but I have a difficult enough time dealing with all the idiots on a typical friday night. Think of this like a concentration of douchebaggery. Sounds fun, right? Not to me. The only reason you should want anything to do with that is if (a) you're a douche, or (b) you're in the middle of some sort of rite of passage, and one of the tests is to sit in a bar surrounded by spiky haired 'tards wearing v-neck graphic tees and talking about how they "totally did that chick last week." Pass.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm all for drinking, even if it is Corona. I even like going out to bars on any given night of the week... but not tonight. Tonight is a night for inebriation in the home, where there won't be cops waiting to haul your ass off to jail, where you won't get shived for talking to some drunk guy's girlfriend, and where the douchebag count is hopefully no greater than "1."
15 Seconds of Shame
Youtube, once the great mecca of all starving artists, morons with cell phone cameras, and TV stations trying to grab some extra eyeballs... has now resorted to placing pre-roll ads on quite a few of their videos. So now instead of watching little Timmy crack his head open on his skateboard, you have to sit through 15 seconds of Gatorade. It's an unfortunate, dark turn for the media giant... or is it?
Let me ask you a question: would you pay for Youtube? Would you pay a monthly membership fee to watch these videos? How MUCH would you be willing to pay? I'm guessing/hoping not much, if anything... I know I certainly wouldn't. But the reality is that Youtube is facing the same plight that a lot of popular websites like Hulu and Vimeo are facing... these guys HAVE to figure out a way to make money. Nobody works for free, and the staff that it takes to upload, maintain, and monitor these videos isn't exactly small. Sites like Facebook and Youtube sell for millions, if not billions of dollars... yet when you get down to it, their actual worth is next to nothing.
Companies like Google and the collection of networks running Hulu HAVE to figure out a way to make money. That's business. So, out of this fundamental problem, two possible solutions have arisen: either charge people to view the site, or run pre-roll ads that the viewers cannot skip. Of the two possibilities, I definitely think pre-roll is the way to go. Think abou it, how bad is it really to sit through 15 seconds before watching what you really came here to watch? You can open another browser window... you can check your email... you can go make a sandwich... but at least you're not PAYING for something that really is a ridiculous luxury. There's a downside to the fees for the companies themselves, as well. As the internet has proven time and time again, the second something falls out of favor with the masses, another, more progressive version of that something comes out. Take the music downloading crap: Napster was huge, then they start charging, so people go to Kazaa. Kazaa starts to get hammered by the RIAA, so the people move over to Pirate Bay. Pirate Bay gets shut down, so it reopens in a different country (while still being accessible to everyone here in America). The internet is the ultimate workaround, and the second a Facebook or a Youtube start trying to charge you for their service, some schmuck is going to open a duplicate site for free. The first version sites crash because no one wants to use them anymore, and the second version sites get huge... so huge that THEY have to monitize. Rinse, repeat.
The thing is, there HAS to be a balance. Go back to the music industry again. I understand downloading pirated music in order to "stick it to the man," but you're also screwing the artist who put in his time and effort to make that song. Eventually, artists are gonna say "screw it," and then we won't have any more music. The solution? Pay the artist directly. You win because you pay less, they win because they make just as much as they did, and you both get to cut out the middle man. So what I'm saying is that with sites like Hulu and Youtube, you have to be willing to take a little bit of a hit in order to maintain the level of service you want. The question is, would you rather take the hit in your wallet, or in your time? I for one say time. Hell, make 'em 30 second spots... that just lets me make a bigger sandwich.
BigBrotherBook is Watching
Facebook is huge. You don't need me to tell you that. Everyone's on Facebook. My mom is on Facebook. Facebook is a fantastic way to stay connected, to meet people, and to get yourself out into the world. But now Facebook might be taking things a little too far. I read a very interesting article the other day about why you should quit facebook. I won't go into detail (read the article, lazy ass), but I was surprised at how compelling their reasons were for quitting. Namely, the fact that Facebook now makes almost all of your information public.
Even if you set your privacy settings as strict as they can go, there are apparently quite a few things about you that Facebook can give away or sell. They don't try to hide it, it's right there in their privacy statement, but I think what they're banking on (rightfully so) is that none of us ever read those things.
So what does this mean for you? Right now, probably nothing. Basically Facebook is able to act like a gigantic focus group. Want to know what young people are interested in? Check on what people have "liked" on Facebook! Want to know the best way to attract an audience to your company or product? Facebook has stats for that. While this may actually be a great way for Facebook to finally monetize themselves, the problem is that it's sacrificing your privacy.
Like I said, right now that might not be such a big deal... but think about the door we've allowed to be opened. Everyone freaks out about Big Brother watching us, about government getting into our lives and tapping our phone lines and whatnot... but really, we're doing more damage to ourselves than any of these entities. And we're doing it willingly.
I can't tell you how many stories I've heard about people being burglarized because they Tweeted "OMG I'M SOOOO ENJOYING MY VACA!" Well yeah, idiot, if you tell the world you're not home, you're basically giving the burglars a free pass. Or think about the many collections of stupid things people have posted on their facebook walls about exes, or how "Five Guys tastes so good in her mouth" (it's a burger place, sickos)... sure it's funny, but it's also out there for the entire world to see.
This is a slippery slope that we're walking here. We're all upset about government invading our privacy, when all they have to do is load up your facebook page and they can find out plenty about you in just a few clicks. I'm not saying you should quit Facebook, all I'm saying is that you might want to be a little more careful about what you put up there. Or maybe you should quit... go off the grid... we'll all be depending on you when the robots take over.
Don't Taze Me Bro
I'm a big Texans fan. I know they suck, but every season I get all pumped up (THIS year it's gonna be different)! Hell, just watching some highlight video yesterday at work, I got so pumped up I wanted to punch something. So I'm a pretty big fan, but I would never do something stupid like run out onto the field during the middle of a Texans game. However, some idiots out there just can't seem to contain themselves, such as this kid. Did you watch the video? Do it, it's short and it's important.
First off, I'm amazed that this made Network News. Of course, this is CBS we're talking about, so I guess nothing should surprise me anymore. But what really caught me here is one of the first lines: "did a police officer go to far in tasing this kid?" The answer is "absolutely not."
Back in the 50s and 60s, people went nuts over big name stars like Elvis and The Beatles. I mean, people were passing out just at the sight of them. People rushed barricades and fought for a chance to touch these icons... but no one got tased. Why? Well Tasers weren't invented, but also, people knew when to quit. People for the most part knew that there was a limit to how far you could really get obsessed with someone before things got out of hand. Unfortunately, that is not the case today.
Right now you're no one unless you get a video posted on youtube, or unless you make network news for something. And people will go to great lengths, doing some truly stupid stuff for their five minutes of fame. This kid is obviously just the latest on that list of assbags. But he's clearly a huge Phillies fan, and he wasn't hurting anyone by running out on the field, so why did the officer have to tase him?
Here's why: if he didn't get punished for what he did, what's to stop the next guy from doing it even worse? What's to stop a crazy person from going out there witha knife or a gun or whatever and doing some real damage? This kid was an example, and that cop did exactly the right thing by tasing him. "Don't fuck with us and we won't fuck with you, but if you do, you're going to pay for it." That's the message that was delivered loud and clear, in the form of an electrified tac that stuck into this kids back and zapped him.
I'm going to argue that the real problem here isn't about the kid or the cop who tased him at all. The real problem here is us. You can blame the media for this, or you can just blame the fact that we're all a bunch of whiney bitches, but this all really comes down to entitlement. By entitlement I mean that warm fuzzy feeling that we all get (some much more than others), the belief that because we're americans, we should be able to do whatever we want, and that there should be a reasonable, diplomatic solution for everything. What we forget is that there are a lot of people out there who are not reasonable, and who will not respond to a diplomatic solution. In the end, you've got to maintain order, and if that means taking some kid who made a stupid choice and hitting him with a taser, then so be it. I know this: the NEXT kid in that stadium who's thinking about running out on the field will probably think twice. Much more so than he will if this cop gets fired for doing his job and making sure people obey the rules.
We're Doing What Now?
There's been so much debate over this Arizona immigration law that I'm getting sick of hearing it... but what amazes me is that our media will report on the hundreds of illegal immigrants leaving the state because of the new stricter law, but what they fail to mention is that no one is doing anything about it.
First off, let me qualify something. I have nothing against these immigrants as PEOPLE, but I do have a problem with the fact that they don't follow the rules of our country... and I have an even bigger problem with Americans who actually think that's okay. Let's set aside the fact that illegal immigrants don't pay taxes, or that they're just trying to get by, or that they're fleeing a country in trouble. Ask yourself this: what makes them any better than us? Why is it that they can break the law and ignore the rules, and it's okay... but we can't?
If you fail to pay taxes, you'll be fined or arrested. They never pay taxes, yet they get sympathy? I don't think so. They're just trying to get by... feeding money into another country, a country where drug cartels run everything that matters. So by proxy, they're funding the drug cartels. And yes, Mexico is in trouble, but is that our fault? No. It's their fault. Maybe instead of fleeing the country, these immigrants should take some responsibility for themselves and fix their country. We would do it here, right? Why are they different?
We need to have cops posted at every exit from Arizona. We need to be stopping these people, checking their citizenship, and rounding them up if they're here illegally. I'm not saying we have to throw them in jail or even deport them... what we need to do is make them all go through the citizenship process. Get them social security numbers, get them driver's licenses... get them on the path to becoming true, legal americans. Then make them pay taxes and obey the law and live as everyone else in this country does.
We also need to stop pussyfooting around with this, and take over Mexico. Send our military down there, wipe out the cartels, and disband the government from that country. Make Mexico the 51st state of America, or make it a province or a territory or whatever it is that Puerto Rico is. It would be a relatively easy operation, and it would make a much bigger difference in our homeland security than Afghanistan or Iraq. I bet the majority of Mexicans would be more than happy to see this happen... think about the improvements to their quality of life we would bring. Plus you don't have to get a passport and spend all kinds of extra money to go visit, and all the tourist dollars wind up in our own economy. Everybody wins! But most of all, we won't have to sit around listening to liberals and conservatives moan and argue over the best way to handle our country's "illegal immigrant problem."
I'm going to end today with this. a car that you drive with your eyes. This is science at work, people. This is a collection of brilliant minds coming together and programming a computer to do something that is wonderful, groundbreaking, and UTTERLY USELESS.
A car that you drive with your eyes? Are you kidding me? ANYONE can see what a terrible idea that is, right? You're driving at 75 mph when you see a billboard. You turn your head to look, and the next thing you know you're careening off an overpass. Did this not enter the minds of these so-called "scientists?"
Come on people... there are too many real problems in the world that need solving. Why are you wasting our time and your education on stupid stuff that has absolutely no real-world application? Get to work on something that matters. Like lightsabers.
It's all about the money: Cinco De Mayo is like a little "Black Friday" for bars. Sure they might get you in there with some kind of great special (2 for 1 on Coronas anyone?), but you will leave having spent more money than you would had you gone to say, a nice dinner instead.
Get ready for jail time: You think cops don't know what today is? I guarantee you they won't be waiting for you to walk out of a donut shop drunk. This is a great opportunity for local cops to meet their ticket quotas so they can take it easy for the rest of the month. If you don't think they're going to be waiting for you when you leave the bar tonight, you truly are a moron.
Houston's Worst come out of hiding: Cinco De Mayo is like a free-for-all for all the douchebags and sluts who make a habit of flaunting their disgustingness. I don't know about you, but I have a difficult enough time dealing with all the idiots on a typical friday night. Think of this like a concentration of douchebaggery. Sounds fun, right? Not to me. The only reason you should want anything to do with that is if (a) you're a douche, or (b) you're in the middle of some sort of rite of passage, and one of the tests is to sit in a bar surrounded by spiky haired 'tards wearing v-neck graphic tees and talking about how they "totally did that chick last week." Pass.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm all for drinking, even if it is Corona. I even like going out to bars on any given night of the week... but not tonight. Tonight is a night for inebriation in the home, where there won't be cops waiting to haul your ass off to jail, where you won't get shived for talking to some drunk guy's girlfriend, and where the douchebag count is hopefully no greater than "1."
15 Seconds of Shame
Youtube, once the great mecca of all starving artists, morons with cell phone cameras, and TV stations trying to grab some extra eyeballs... has now resorted to placing pre-roll ads on quite a few of their videos. So now instead of watching little Timmy crack his head open on his skateboard, you have to sit through 15 seconds of Gatorade. It's an unfortunate, dark turn for the media giant... or is it?
Let me ask you a question: would you pay for Youtube? Would you pay a monthly membership fee to watch these videos? How MUCH would you be willing to pay? I'm guessing/hoping not much, if anything... I know I certainly wouldn't. But the reality is that Youtube is facing the same plight that a lot of popular websites like Hulu and Vimeo are facing... these guys HAVE to figure out a way to make money. Nobody works for free, and the staff that it takes to upload, maintain, and monitor these videos isn't exactly small. Sites like Facebook and Youtube sell for millions, if not billions of dollars... yet when you get down to it, their actual worth is next to nothing.
Companies like Google and the collection of networks running Hulu HAVE to figure out a way to make money. That's business. So, out of this fundamental problem, two possible solutions have arisen: either charge people to view the site, or run pre-roll ads that the viewers cannot skip. Of the two possibilities, I definitely think pre-roll is the way to go. Think abou it, how bad is it really to sit through 15 seconds before watching what you really came here to watch? You can open another browser window... you can check your email... you can go make a sandwich... but at least you're not PAYING for something that really is a ridiculous luxury. There's a downside to the fees for the companies themselves, as well. As the internet has proven time and time again, the second something falls out of favor with the masses, another, more progressive version of that something comes out. Take the music downloading crap: Napster was huge, then they start charging, so people go to Kazaa. Kazaa starts to get hammered by the RIAA, so the people move over to Pirate Bay. Pirate Bay gets shut down, so it reopens in a different country (while still being accessible to everyone here in America). The internet is the ultimate workaround, and the second a Facebook or a Youtube start trying to charge you for their service, some schmuck is going to open a duplicate site for free. The first version sites crash because no one wants to use them anymore, and the second version sites get huge... so huge that THEY have to monitize. Rinse, repeat.
The thing is, there HAS to be a balance. Go back to the music industry again. I understand downloading pirated music in order to "stick it to the man," but you're also screwing the artist who put in his time and effort to make that song. Eventually, artists are gonna say "screw it," and then we won't have any more music. The solution? Pay the artist directly. You win because you pay less, they win because they make just as much as they did, and you both get to cut out the middle man. So what I'm saying is that with sites like Hulu and Youtube, you have to be willing to take a little bit of a hit in order to maintain the level of service you want. The question is, would you rather take the hit in your wallet, or in your time? I for one say time. Hell, make 'em 30 second spots... that just lets me make a bigger sandwich.
BigBrotherBook is Watching
Facebook is huge. You don't need me to tell you that. Everyone's on Facebook. My mom is on Facebook. Facebook is a fantastic way to stay connected, to meet people, and to get yourself out into the world. But now Facebook might be taking things a little too far. I read a very interesting article the other day about why you should quit facebook. I won't go into detail (read the article, lazy ass), but I was surprised at how compelling their reasons were for quitting. Namely, the fact that Facebook now makes almost all of your information public.
Even if you set your privacy settings as strict as they can go, there are apparently quite a few things about you that Facebook can give away or sell. They don't try to hide it, it's right there in their privacy statement, but I think what they're banking on (rightfully so) is that none of us ever read those things.
So what does this mean for you? Right now, probably nothing. Basically Facebook is able to act like a gigantic focus group. Want to know what young people are interested in? Check on what people have "liked" on Facebook! Want to know the best way to attract an audience to your company or product? Facebook has stats for that. While this may actually be a great way for Facebook to finally monetize themselves, the problem is that it's sacrificing your privacy.
Like I said, right now that might not be such a big deal... but think about the door we've allowed to be opened. Everyone freaks out about Big Brother watching us, about government getting into our lives and tapping our phone lines and whatnot... but really, we're doing more damage to ourselves than any of these entities. And we're doing it willingly.
I can't tell you how many stories I've heard about people being burglarized because they Tweeted "OMG I'M SOOOO ENJOYING MY VACA!" Well yeah, idiot, if you tell the world you're not home, you're basically giving the burglars a free pass. Or think about the many collections of stupid things people have posted on their facebook walls about exes, or how "Five Guys tastes so good in her mouth" (it's a burger place, sickos)... sure it's funny, but it's also out there for the entire world to see.
This is a slippery slope that we're walking here. We're all upset about government invading our privacy, when all they have to do is load up your facebook page and they can find out plenty about you in just a few clicks. I'm not saying you should quit Facebook, all I'm saying is that you might want to be a little more careful about what you put up there. Or maybe you should quit... go off the grid... we'll all be depending on you when the robots take over.
Don't Taze Me Bro
I'm a big Texans fan. I know they suck, but every season I get all pumped up (THIS year it's gonna be different)! Hell, just watching some highlight video yesterday at work, I got so pumped up I wanted to punch something. So I'm a pretty big fan, but I would never do something stupid like run out onto the field during the middle of a Texans game. However, some idiots out there just can't seem to contain themselves, such as this kid. Did you watch the video? Do it, it's short and it's important.
First off, I'm amazed that this made Network News. Of course, this is CBS we're talking about, so I guess nothing should surprise me anymore. But what really caught me here is one of the first lines: "did a police officer go to far in tasing this kid?" The answer is "absolutely not."
Back in the 50s and 60s, people went nuts over big name stars like Elvis and The Beatles. I mean, people were passing out just at the sight of them. People rushed barricades and fought for a chance to touch these icons... but no one got tased. Why? Well Tasers weren't invented, but also, people knew when to quit. People for the most part knew that there was a limit to how far you could really get obsessed with someone before things got out of hand. Unfortunately, that is not the case today.
Right now you're no one unless you get a video posted on youtube, or unless you make network news for something. And people will go to great lengths, doing some truly stupid stuff for their five minutes of fame. This kid is obviously just the latest on that list of assbags. But he's clearly a huge Phillies fan, and he wasn't hurting anyone by running out on the field, so why did the officer have to tase him?
Here's why: if he didn't get punished for what he did, what's to stop the next guy from doing it even worse? What's to stop a crazy person from going out there witha knife or a gun or whatever and doing some real damage? This kid was an example, and that cop did exactly the right thing by tasing him. "Don't fuck with us and we won't fuck with you, but if you do, you're going to pay for it." That's the message that was delivered loud and clear, in the form of an electrified tac that stuck into this kids back and zapped him.
I'm going to argue that the real problem here isn't about the kid or the cop who tased him at all. The real problem here is us. You can blame the media for this, or you can just blame the fact that we're all a bunch of whiney bitches, but this all really comes down to entitlement. By entitlement I mean that warm fuzzy feeling that we all get (some much more than others), the belief that because we're americans, we should be able to do whatever we want, and that there should be a reasonable, diplomatic solution for everything. What we forget is that there are a lot of people out there who are not reasonable, and who will not respond to a diplomatic solution. In the end, you've got to maintain order, and if that means taking some kid who made a stupid choice and hitting him with a taser, then so be it. I know this: the NEXT kid in that stadium who's thinking about running out on the field will probably think twice. Much more so than he will if this cop gets fired for doing his job and making sure people obey the rules.
We're Doing What Now?
There's been so much debate over this Arizona immigration law that I'm getting sick of hearing it... but what amazes me is that our media will report on the hundreds of illegal immigrants leaving the state because of the new stricter law, but what they fail to mention is that no one is doing anything about it.
First off, let me qualify something. I have nothing against these immigrants as PEOPLE, but I do have a problem with the fact that they don't follow the rules of our country... and I have an even bigger problem with Americans who actually think that's okay. Let's set aside the fact that illegal immigrants don't pay taxes, or that they're just trying to get by, or that they're fleeing a country in trouble. Ask yourself this: what makes them any better than us? Why is it that they can break the law and ignore the rules, and it's okay... but we can't?
If you fail to pay taxes, you'll be fined or arrested. They never pay taxes, yet they get sympathy? I don't think so. They're just trying to get by... feeding money into another country, a country where drug cartels run everything that matters. So by proxy, they're funding the drug cartels. And yes, Mexico is in trouble, but is that our fault? No. It's their fault. Maybe instead of fleeing the country, these immigrants should take some responsibility for themselves and fix their country. We would do it here, right? Why are they different?
We need to have cops posted at every exit from Arizona. We need to be stopping these people, checking their citizenship, and rounding them up if they're here illegally. I'm not saying we have to throw them in jail or even deport them... what we need to do is make them all go through the citizenship process. Get them social security numbers, get them driver's licenses... get them on the path to becoming true, legal americans. Then make them pay taxes and obey the law and live as everyone else in this country does.
We also need to stop pussyfooting around with this, and take over Mexico. Send our military down there, wipe out the cartels, and disband the government from that country. Make Mexico the 51st state of America, or make it a province or a territory or whatever it is that Puerto Rico is. It would be a relatively easy operation, and it would make a much bigger difference in our homeland security than Afghanistan or Iraq. I bet the majority of Mexicans would be more than happy to see this happen... think about the improvements to their quality of life we would bring. Plus you don't have to get a passport and spend all kinds of extra money to go visit, and all the tourist dollars wind up in our own economy. Everybody wins! But most of all, we won't have to sit around listening to liberals and conservatives moan and argue over the best way to handle our country's "illegal immigrant problem."
I'm going to end today with this. a car that you drive with your eyes. This is science at work, people. This is a collection of brilliant minds coming together and programming a computer to do something that is wonderful, groundbreaking, and UTTERLY USELESS.
A car that you drive with your eyes? Are you kidding me? ANYONE can see what a terrible idea that is, right? You're driving at 75 mph when you see a billboard. You turn your head to look, and the next thing you know you're careening off an overpass. Did this not enter the minds of these so-called "scientists?"
Come on people... there are too many real problems in the world that need solving. Why are you wasting our time and your education on stupid stuff that has absolutely no real-world application? Get to work on something that matters. Like lightsabers.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Swept
Ahh, it's that wonderful time again. The time when TV stations go all out to try to impress you, get you to watch, and hope that if you do watch, you've got a Nielsen box. I'm talking about sweeps, and this week marks the start of the May 2010 edition. So strap on your hats everyone, and get ready to be taken for a ride. In the meantime I'm going to do my best to entertain you with a very special entry just for sweeps. No, not really.
Go Big or Go Home
Ooooh controversy. As I'm sure you've probably heard, Arizona recently passed an Illegal Immigration law that causing quite a stir. What you may NOT have heard is that this law is a great idea. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the people themselves. In fact, I once worked with an illegal immigrant, and he was the hardest working dude I've ever met. I was really sad when he was caught and fired... but I also understood why it happened.
This law basically allows cops to question anyone they see as suspicious of being an illegal immigrant. They can ask for identification and proof of citizenship. That's it. Yet people are upset enough that they are protesting in the streets. Even people who don't live in Arizona are protesting this thing! But think about it... if you're not an illegal immigrant, then you have nothing to worry about. If you are an illegal immigrant, get your shit together and do stuff the way you're supposed to, and you've got nothing to worry about. What's the big problem here?
The illegal immigrants that I've seen interviewed willingly admit that they're here, not paying taxes, and sending all of the money they make to their families in Mexico. So they're living here, not paying any taxes, which means you and I get to pay even more taxes because of htem. They're not making a ton of money, sure, but what they do earn is going out of this country, which is basically bleeding our already hurting economy even drier than before.
So these protestors are pissed, and why? Because it's mean to illegal immigrants and their families? They KNEW what they were doing when they came over here. All they have to do is follow the rules, just like you and I do, and they're welcome to enter the country. I don't see what the big deal is with that. Or is it the whole "Big Brother" thing? You don't like the fact that the government can pry into your life? Well, obviously you don't have THAT big a problem with it, since you let them regulate what you eat, how you get treated for medical care, and (coming soon) how you live your life. So what if they ask for your driver's license every now and then? That's nothing compared to turning you away when you break your arm because you didn't get enough calcium in your diet. I really don't see the big problem here... what's so bad about this law?
Maybe the biggest problem is that you're never going to hear what's GOOD about this law, thanks in large part to the media. The media is happy to report the sob stories from these illegal immigrants who now are having to figure out another, more honest way to take money out of this country. They're happy to talk to protestors who hate the law and love Obama and "freedom," or as I like to call it, lawlessness. They're not going to report on the fact that this will give more jobs to americans, will help our economy grow (by uh, keeping the money here), and increase the standard of living for all americans, because most of us won't work for the low wages and bad treatment that the illegals will. Bad for big business? Maybe. Good for you and me? You know it.
To all the illegal immigrants, including my friend Julio, who most likely found work somewhere else after being let go by Petco... I welcome you to our country, as long as you follow the rules. You are no better or worse than me or anyone else on this planet, and you have to follow the rules just like everyone else. Do it, get it over with, and let us all get on with more important stuff.
No Fun Zone
I was driving this evening when I saw one of those automated billboards. Normally they give you the number for roadside assistance, or tell you about an accident somewhere on your way. But today there was even more vital information on there... information that just couldn't wait. This evening, the sign read "MAKE YOUR CAR A NO PHONE ZONE. SAVE YOUR TALKING AND TEXTING FOR LATER." Garbage, absolute garbage.
This is Oprah's fault. Seriously! She's on this whole "no texting while driving" binge, like this is going to be her legacy or something. Oprah, your legacy will be that you were slightly overweight and you controlled womens' lives. You will be surpassed by the View, and you will squander into relative obscurity until some scandal surfaces or something even worse (sex tape? I can't believe I even said that). But as for right now, she is gaining some ground with this thing, so rather than attack what she will become (or fail to become), I'm going to simply attack this ridiculous attempt at making a lasting name for herself.
If you really want to stop texting while driving, or talking on the phone while driving, make it a part of the driving test. When drivers go in to renew their licenses, make them sit behind the wheel with a phone and navigate an obstacle course while talking on the phone. Monitor them as they text while they drive and see how they do. If they fail, put a notation on their license or insurance that says they're not allowed to talk on the phone when they drive. If they pass, then leave them alone.
I've said it before and I'll say it again here... the problem of talking on the phone while driving has almost nothing to do with talking on the phone. Instead it has mostly to do with the driver. Face it, some people can multitask, some people can't. I for one can talk on the phone and drive, but I've seen more than one driver unable to concentrate on both. Those people should not have phones on while driving... but just because they're morons doesn't mean I should be restricted. Why should I pay for their incompetence? Oh yeah, because this is America. So thanks, Oprah, for your awesome contribution to the downfall of the human race.
The Men who Stare at Goats
A reporter who's more than a little down on his luck (wife left him, job sucks), stumbles upon an incredible story: he hears about a super-secret group of soldiers who were being trained to be super-human, to have super powers. So he follows one of their legendary best as he tries to get them both through the Iraq desert alive.
This movie was NOTHING like what I expected. I expected a movie about training to be a super-soldier, full of hippies and weirdos, followed by a semi-serious climax mixed in with jokes from the strange yet loveable cast. So basically a "Stripes" sequel. But I was wrong. This movie is actually kinda serious... it even claims that more if it is true than you will believe. Okay, well I guess that's true since I figure none of it is true.
George Clooney was great in this movie, but that's to be expected. And also he has a mustache, which only helped his cause. However, everyone else delivers ho-hum performances at best, and overall there just wasn't anything special about any of them. Even when the twist occurs in the story, I wasn't very interested in any of it... which is sad, since I was really hoping for a good movie here.
If you're considering seeing this movie, be careful. It's not anything like the previews sold, and if that's what you're expecting then you will most likely be disappointed. However, if you like George Clooney, and you like "The Dude," then sure, give it a shot.
Moon
A lone employee working at a moonbase discovers that things arne't what they seem. With just two weeks left on his contract, is he going to believe what he's seeing with his own eyes, or is he going to accept the fact that 3 years alone on the moon might make someone a little loopy? Well, just when you think you know... BAM!
Actually, kinda semi-bam. This movie, while entertaining and very, very well done, still left a lot to be expected. First the good: Sam Rockwell is awesome. For being basically the only actor in this entire movie, he puts out a very impressive performance. The whole look and feel of this movie is fantastic... very isolated and confusing, just like I imagine it would be after sitting on the moon for a couple years... alone.
But now the bad. This movie was waaaayyyy too predictable. Also, just when I was starting to get into Sam Rockwell's character, the twists start hitting and before I know it, I've lost a lot of my attachment to the character. Sure the story and effects are good, but they're also predictable and nothing special, in that order.
Overall, this movie was good and enjoyable, but not nearly as good or enjoyable as it could have been. It's a shame too, since Rockwell puts out such a stellar performance. I wanted to like this movie a lot, I really did... but as it stands I just can't recommend it to everyone. If you like Rockwell, or you're into isolation, then go ahead and give it a shot. Just don't come crying to me when it's not what you were expecting or hoping.
Alright folks, so everyone watch KHOU this month, and if you see any of my promos let me know what you think. Until next time...
Go Big or Go Home
Ooooh controversy. As I'm sure you've probably heard, Arizona recently passed an Illegal Immigration law that causing quite a stir. What you may NOT have heard is that this law is a great idea. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the people themselves. In fact, I once worked with an illegal immigrant, and he was the hardest working dude I've ever met. I was really sad when he was caught and fired... but I also understood why it happened.
This law basically allows cops to question anyone they see as suspicious of being an illegal immigrant. They can ask for identification and proof of citizenship. That's it. Yet people are upset enough that they are protesting in the streets. Even people who don't live in Arizona are protesting this thing! But think about it... if you're not an illegal immigrant, then you have nothing to worry about. If you are an illegal immigrant, get your shit together and do stuff the way you're supposed to, and you've got nothing to worry about. What's the big problem here?
The illegal immigrants that I've seen interviewed willingly admit that they're here, not paying taxes, and sending all of the money they make to their families in Mexico. So they're living here, not paying any taxes, which means you and I get to pay even more taxes because of htem. They're not making a ton of money, sure, but what they do earn is going out of this country, which is basically bleeding our already hurting economy even drier than before.
So these protestors are pissed, and why? Because it's mean to illegal immigrants and their families? They KNEW what they were doing when they came over here. All they have to do is follow the rules, just like you and I do, and they're welcome to enter the country. I don't see what the big deal is with that. Or is it the whole "Big Brother" thing? You don't like the fact that the government can pry into your life? Well, obviously you don't have THAT big a problem with it, since you let them regulate what you eat, how you get treated for medical care, and (coming soon) how you live your life. So what if they ask for your driver's license every now and then? That's nothing compared to turning you away when you break your arm because you didn't get enough calcium in your diet. I really don't see the big problem here... what's so bad about this law?
Maybe the biggest problem is that you're never going to hear what's GOOD about this law, thanks in large part to the media. The media is happy to report the sob stories from these illegal immigrants who now are having to figure out another, more honest way to take money out of this country. They're happy to talk to protestors who hate the law and love Obama and "freedom," or as I like to call it, lawlessness. They're not going to report on the fact that this will give more jobs to americans, will help our economy grow (by uh, keeping the money here), and increase the standard of living for all americans, because most of us won't work for the low wages and bad treatment that the illegals will. Bad for big business? Maybe. Good for you and me? You know it.
To all the illegal immigrants, including my friend Julio, who most likely found work somewhere else after being let go by Petco... I welcome you to our country, as long as you follow the rules. You are no better or worse than me or anyone else on this planet, and you have to follow the rules just like everyone else. Do it, get it over with, and let us all get on with more important stuff.
No Fun Zone
I was driving this evening when I saw one of those automated billboards. Normally they give you the number for roadside assistance, or tell you about an accident somewhere on your way. But today there was even more vital information on there... information that just couldn't wait. This evening, the sign read "MAKE YOUR CAR A NO PHONE ZONE. SAVE YOUR TALKING AND TEXTING FOR LATER." Garbage, absolute garbage.
This is Oprah's fault. Seriously! She's on this whole "no texting while driving" binge, like this is going to be her legacy or something. Oprah, your legacy will be that you were slightly overweight and you controlled womens' lives. You will be surpassed by the View, and you will squander into relative obscurity until some scandal surfaces or something even worse (sex tape? I can't believe I even said that). But as for right now, she is gaining some ground with this thing, so rather than attack what she will become (or fail to become), I'm going to simply attack this ridiculous attempt at making a lasting name for herself.
If you really want to stop texting while driving, or talking on the phone while driving, make it a part of the driving test. When drivers go in to renew their licenses, make them sit behind the wheel with a phone and navigate an obstacle course while talking on the phone. Monitor them as they text while they drive and see how they do. If they fail, put a notation on their license or insurance that says they're not allowed to talk on the phone when they drive. If they pass, then leave them alone.
I've said it before and I'll say it again here... the problem of talking on the phone while driving has almost nothing to do with talking on the phone. Instead it has mostly to do with the driver. Face it, some people can multitask, some people can't. I for one can talk on the phone and drive, but I've seen more than one driver unable to concentrate on both. Those people should not have phones on while driving... but just because they're morons doesn't mean I should be restricted. Why should I pay for their incompetence? Oh yeah, because this is America. So thanks, Oprah, for your awesome contribution to the downfall of the human race.
The Men who Stare at Goats
A reporter who's more than a little down on his luck (wife left him, job sucks), stumbles upon an incredible story: he hears about a super-secret group of soldiers who were being trained to be super-human, to have super powers. So he follows one of their legendary best as he tries to get them both through the Iraq desert alive.
This movie was NOTHING like what I expected. I expected a movie about training to be a super-soldier, full of hippies and weirdos, followed by a semi-serious climax mixed in with jokes from the strange yet loveable cast. So basically a "Stripes" sequel. But I was wrong. This movie is actually kinda serious... it even claims that more if it is true than you will believe. Okay, well I guess that's true since I figure none of it is true.
George Clooney was great in this movie, but that's to be expected. And also he has a mustache, which only helped his cause. However, everyone else delivers ho-hum performances at best, and overall there just wasn't anything special about any of them. Even when the twist occurs in the story, I wasn't very interested in any of it... which is sad, since I was really hoping for a good movie here.
If you're considering seeing this movie, be careful. It's not anything like the previews sold, and if that's what you're expecting then you will most likely be disappointed. However, if you like George Clooney, and you like "The Dude," then sure, give it a shot.
Moon
A lone employee working at a moonbase discovers that things arne't what they seem. With just two weeks left on his contract, is he going to believe what he's seeing with his own eyes, or is he going to accept the fact that 3 years alone on the moon might make someone a little loopy? Well, just when you think you know... BAM!
Actually, kinda semi-bam. This movie, while entertaining and very, very well done, still left a lot to be expected. First the good: Sam Rockwell is awesome. For being basically the only actor in this entire movie, he puts out a very impressive performance. The whole look and feel of this movie is fantastic... very isolated and confusing, just like I imagine it would be after sitting on the moon for a couple years... alone.
But now the bad. This movie was waaaayyyy too predictable. Also, just when I was starting to get into Sam Rockwell's character, the twists start hitting and before I know it, I've lost a lot of my attachment to the character. Sure the story and effects are good, but they're also predictable and nothing special, in that order.
Overall, this movie was good and enjoyable, but not nearly as good or enjoyable as it could have been. It's a shame too, since Rockwell puts out such a stellar performance. I wanted to like this movie a lot, I really did... but as it stands I just can't recommend it to everyone. If you like Rockwell, or you're into isolation, then go ahead and give it a shot. Just don't come crying to me when it's not what you were expecting or hoping.
Alright folks, so everyone watch KHOU this month, and if you see any of my promos let me know what you think. Until next time...
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