There are a lot of things in this world that piss me off; The CBS Early Show; Kobe Bryant; Tight Jeans, just to name a few. But I can't think of anything in recent memory that's made me angrier than the good old Salvation Army. That's right, while you may look at that nice person ringing the bell outside in the cold and say "poor them," I say "serves them right." While you're giving them directions to your house to pick up the things you want to give away to little Timmy and Little Sarah... I'm giving them directions OFF THE NEAREST CLIFF. Alright that was harsh. But not uncalled for. Allow me to present two examples of why the Salvation Army is a bunch of asswipes.
The year was 2001-ish. Everyone was living it up in the new millenium, and I was tasked with getting rid of a giant pile of old crap from my dad's house. We were going to the nines, I'm talking everything from clothes to a matress to a couple bikes to a computer. Remember the computer, that's important. So the Salvation Army guy calls me and asks me to list off all the stuff we're going to be giving them, and when I got to the computer, he stops me. He says "what kind of computer?" I say "It's an old Compaq 486," which for those of you who don't know, wasn't a BAD computer at that time, but it definitely wasn't top of the line. The Salvation Army guy says "well we're not going to take that." I say "why not?" and he says "because it's not a good enough computer." "Hold on a minute, not good enough for who?" I ask, and then we proceed to get into a 15 minute argument about it. He claims that no one in their right mind would want a piece of shit 486 when there are better computers out there. My argument is, if the Salvation Army is really out there to help the poor and disadvantaged, and if these people they're "helping" really are poor and disadvantaged, they'd be happy to have a computer of any kind. Sure it's a 486, but it'll still run Windows and it still runs programs like Word and Excel. Does the Salvation Army typically get gaming rigs for these people? Would someone who's really in dire straights actually tell them "oh that's not top of the line enough for me to run my extensive web server?" No. But Mr. Jackass Salvation Army guy disagrees. Finally after talking to two of his superiors, they agreed to take the computer... though I'm sure once they got it they just threw it away.
Case number 2: it's now 2007. I'm about to move out of Sacramento and back to Houston, and I'm trying to get rid of stuff to lighten the load on the moving truck (so they'll charge me less). I remembered the horrible experience with the Salvation Army, but at the time I assumed it was just a big deal because the guy I was talking to had a stick in his ass. Different state, different Salvation Army, and California is full of homeless people who need stuff. So the truck arrives and they start to remove things from my apartment, when they stop in their tracks. The delivery guy tells me "we can't take your computer desk." "Why not?" I ask. "Because it doesn't have the drawer for the keyboard" he says. "So what?" I ask. Let the argument begin. He claims that they're not allowed to take anything that doesn't have all of his parts. I argue that if the Salvation Army is really trying to help the poor and needy, they won't care if something as non-essential as a keyboard drawer is included or not. And if the people they're helping are truly in dire straights, they'll deal with putting the keyboard on top of the desk, instead of in the (arguably) more convenient drawer. This argument I lost, because his supervisor told me that they wouldn't take it, and he wouldn't allow me to speak to anyone else. So the Salvation Army guys, while they were loading their truck, got to watch me break my perfectly good desk into a million pieces and throw it in the dumpster, all the while bitching and moaning about how the Salvation Army was too good for my desk and for my donations.
NOW how do you feel about the Salvation Army? Changes your perspective a little bit, doesn't it? So the next time you see on the news how the Salvation Army is hurting for donations, and how the poor and disadvantaged won't have enough because we're all to mean to donate stuff... think twice. Understand that if the Salvation Army is picky enough to turn away perfectly good items, they can't - or shouldn't - be hurting all that bad after all.
Let it Die
Did I just hear that Barack Obama wants to start up another stimulus package for American Businesses? Or did I imagine that? I certainly hope I imagined it, because another stimulus is about the worst idea I've ever heard of in my entire freakin' life. Another stimulus means more of our hard-earned money going to help failing businesses, instead of helping us (like it should). And don't give me this bullshit "helping businesses helps you" rigamarole... I hope we're all too smart to fall for that. By instigating another stimulus, you're basically taking money from those of us who know how to manage it, and giving it to people who have proven that they don't know how to manage it.
Take, for example, the "American" car companies, who claim they need more money to stay afloat. Why? Why in the hell should we give them a single cent? Do you think for a second that they would give US money when we buy their cars? No.
I've heard all the excuses I want to hear. "Oh it's because so many workers will lose their jobs if the car companies go under." So? You know who's fault that is? Those very same workers. That's right, their little union has caused the ruin of the car companies that they depend on. Did you know a union worker making cars for GM makes more than twice the money a non-union worker does doing the same thing for Hyundai? And guess who's making the money they deserve? Hyundai. A guy who stands on an assembly line and watches a machine build a car does NOT deserve 80k a year. Especially when you consider how cheaply and horribly made that car is to begin with. These unions have milked the car companies clean, to a point where they can no longer function. They can't strip out any more quality items from their cars without them becoming unsafe, so they have no choice but to bleed money until they die. Now why should WE have to pay for that? The worker who's enjoyed being overpaid for 20 years can just suck it up, as far as I care. They're the reason the car companies can't survive, now THEY can pick up the slack.
"Oh, but killing the car companies kills the American Spirit." Bullshit. These "American" car companies like GM build the bulk of their vehicles in countries like Mexico. Real American guys. The "foreign" automakers like Toyota and Hyundai build most of their cars in America. Hell Toyota Trucks are made right here in Texas! So I ask you, who is the real american car company? What makes it american? Where their offices are, or where the cars are made? You want to know why a Toyota holds together so much better than a Chevy? Because it's American made, not slapped together in some third world country that just got electricity. But the "American" car companies can't really be blamed, I guess... they had to go to these countries to avoid paying the huge salaries their union workers demand.
Now, I might sound like I'm taking the side of big business here, but believe me, I'm not. I'd be perfectly satisfied to watch GM go under. Or to see these big financial institutions fail. Or to see their fat-cat CEOs behind bars. What I don't like seeing is our money going to fight a losing cause. If Obama took the money he's dumped into the stimulus, and instead spread it out equally to all the American people, we'd be millionaires! You want to get the economy going, do that! Give it to the people who spend the money, and let us make the choices on what we want to buy. Don't milk a system that is dying whether you help it or not. And another message to government: don't meddle in something that you weren't ever supposed to meddle in to begin with (the economy). It'll do just fine, if not better, without you sticking your nose in there. People, don't be fooled by this whole "we're just trying to keep America alive" crap you're being fed. That's either pure ignorance from them, or a much more sinister and less free ideal that they have in mind.
Iranna Protest (like I Wanna protest, get it? No?)
I saw a really interesting article the other day called "Three Days in Iran." In it, this dude took a shitload of pictures from Iran, where all kinds of people are protesting against the radical Islamic government. Now being in media, it seems like every day I hear something about "what's the US going to do about Iran..." and my question is, why do we have to do anything? These pictures, and this article say it all: Iran is fixing its own problems.
Clearly there are a lot of people who are unhappy over there. And yes, it's tough to watch the Iran police beat the shit out of women and children just because they disagree with their government... but what right do we have to go in and do anything? We, the average americans, who are so distanced from war and violence, have a hard time comprehending that any government could be so hateful and violent to do something like this. Oh sure, there are plenty Americans who sit around bitching about how oppressive and intolerant our government is, but when you think about it, we really have it pretty good compared to most of the world.
Iran is where America was, right before the big revolution. That revolution, while violent (and by today's standards, probably considered way over-the-top), was what made the United States such a great and powerful country. Our genuine hatred of the Brits and their government control is what brought us together, and allowed us to come up with such a resolute, and revolutionary set of laws. Now imagine if France had come in and tried to "help us" more than they did. If they said "oh sure we'll help you, but we get to open all kinds of military bases on your land, and you have to charge us less for whatever want to buy, and any natural resources you find, we get a piece of, etc etc etc..." we'd tell them to fuck off. Maybe we should have anyway. I hate France. But the point is, we have no right to step in to Iran, especially if we go in there with all kinds of fine print attached (which we would, believe me... we'd have no reason to go in there if there wasn't anything in it for us... think about it).
Iran is doing what Iraq never did. You could make the argument that during Desert Storm we should have finished the job in Iraq and helped those people out. You could make all kinds of arguments about Iraq. But Iran is a different story. Iran is full of people who are sick of their current lifestyle, and they're effecting change. If we are going to offer these people any help, it should be in the form of sympathy (which we're already kind of doing thanks to articles like the one above), and monetarily (helping the protestors get organized and be more effective).
What we should NOT do is offer anything with strings attached. Why would we do that? That does nothing but push our bad image of "what's in it for us" attitude, and it makes us into the big world bully who takes advantage of the little people any chance we get. We don't need that. We can pay for the goods Iran exports just like everyone else. We CAN'T afford to have another country angry enough with us to start training terrorists. You want to fight terrorism? Here's a good place to start.
Boy we're covering some pretty heavy stuff this week. Well, if you survived that, here's some stuff that's a little lighter...
District 9
Neil Blomkamp has one of the most fun names to say ever. Lucky for him, he also makes some pretty interesting movie shorts. If you search "Blomkamp" in youtube, you'll find a lot of them, including some sweet live-action Halo clips. In fact, the first time I saw "District 9," it was as one of these shorts. It was grouped with another one about a robot who was invented to patrol third world ghettos, but during that time it developed emotions. At the time, I thought that short was better than the District 9 one, but in hindsight I can't see how you would turn that little story into a feature-length film. "District 9," however, has plenty of legs to run on.
I have to say I'm impressed with the Special Effects this movie offers. While it's no "Transformers," it also operated on a tiny budget compared to that monster of a film. The effects were used creatively, and with emotion, in a way that you just don't see a lot in movies today. For example, instead of just gratuitous computer-animated explosions, you see the main character forced to make a very difficult choice, much of which involves CGI work. You'll see what I mean when you watch this movie.
Which I do recommend you do. There are a few spots where District 9 falls short, but I think most all of them are overlook-able. Namely, there's almost no back-story on these aliens. Sure that's more realistic, but it would have been nice to know, and interesting to see why they were the way they were. Also, its never explained how the people have learned their language. I can forgive them knowing ours, since they're aliens, but how did we figure theirs out, when we can't even pronounce most of the sounds they made? It was a little confusing, because I couldn't tell for half the movie if the people understood, or were just correctly guessing what the aliens were trying to say.
I think you should give this movie a shot. It's sci-fi, yes. And yes it has a pretty typical "Avatar/Pocahontas/Dances With Wolves/Last Samurai" story, the difference is that the main character is a complete wimp. Putting an anti-hero in a story like that is a nice twist, and I think it's what makes the difference in this movie. It's not super-long, it makes a great use of natural effects, and it has a pretty deep underlying story, if you're willing to take it there. Definitely different, and in my opinion at least as if not more entertaining than a lot of the other stuff that came out this year.
Now I know I promised at the beginning of football season that I wouldn't talk about the Texans this year, but I feel like I have to give them credit for the way they closed things out. Their last game was against the Patriots, which is no slouch of a team... and despite the fact that the Pats had a solid entry into the playoffs, they didn't sit their starters. Maybe they should have (poor Wes Welker), but they didn't, and we showed up and beat them fair and square. It was a classic game, fighting back in the fourth quarter for the win, but what's more is that it really shut a lot of people up. Before this game, a lot of people (including myself) were calling for Gary Kubiak's head, Matt Schaub's head, and Chris Brown's head. Now Chris Brown is still on the hot seat, but you don't hear anyone bitching about Kubiak or Schaub or anyone else on that team. And I think that's for the best... these guys are finding a rhythm, let's keep them another year and see what they can put together. Chris Brown, on the other hand, may need to find a new job. I like the guy, but we can't afford to have a kicker who misses extra points... that's just a no-no in this game. They should at least bring in another kicker to put some pressure on Brown, maybe it'll shake his game back.
I also watched the Texas/Alabama game last night, which was just full of surprises. I've never been a big fan of Texas, and I honestly figured Alabama would roll over them, but watching those two teams duke it out, I had a (slight) change of heart. I wasn't too sad to see Colt McCoy get hurt (never really liked that guy), but I was sad to see his freshman replacement have such a bad game. That kid fought hard, and he had some moments of glory, but because Texas lost, he'll always be remembered as the "kid who lost that BCS Championship for Texas." It's a shame, too... because when he was good, he was awesome. Maybe he'll perservere and become a great player... I hope for his sake he does.
And so, it's out with football season, and in with... what? Basketball? Please. Baseball? Maybe, but I don't even get the Astros on my shitty cable service. I guess I'll just have to make the playoffs count, and then find something else to do (like maybe go outside once in a while) until next September. And on that note, you'll have to find something else to do until next week...
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