If you're expecting a big long tirade on the Healthcare decision, go somewhere else. I've already said my piece on this stuff in the last couple of entries, no point in going back over it again. I'm just going to let it go for now, and it's probably best you do too.
There's no sense in getting all riled up, the bill's passed and it's going to happen. All you can do is hope that there's not too much damage done between now and November, and that everyone has enough patience to wait until election time to let their voices be heard. The last thing we need right now is for some nutjob to take matters into his own hands and try to make a statement about how much he hates healthcare. Everyone just relax, we all know how the government works... Barack Obama can't wipe his nose without there being some kind of committee meeting on what type of kleenex he should be using, how many he should use, and who should get a tax break for it.
For now, let's just move on to more exciting/less repetitive things...
Future's So Bright...
If you grew up watching such awesome movies as "Back to the Future," "Terminator," "Tron," etc... you're probably pretty disappointed in how the world has turned out. No holographic shark coming out of the top of a Texaco station (remember Texaco?)... No living inside of a computer... Not even a Judgement Day. Those movies made the 2000s look like they were going to be some pretty awesome years, but if you think about it, most of these futuristic inventions, while cool on paper, actually suck incredibly bad. Consider:
Time Travel - How cool would it be to be able to go back in time? You could find that girlfriend you screwed up with and make things right, or tell yourself when you were a kid to stop eating so much fatty food or you'll grow up to be a lardass. Well, actually, assuming it were possible, time travel would, without a doubt, bring on destruction the likes of which we can't even imagine. The Butterfly Effect, though ridiculously named (why not call it something cool like the lightning effect?), is completely true. Every single thing you do in the past effects every single thing in the future. And going to the future would screw things up even worse... imagine finding things that are invented in the future and then bringing them back to the present? The patent wars would cripple our economy and probably cause a lot of explosions. The fact that we don't see Time Travelers now already tells us that (a) it will never be invented, or (b) it's going to be invented but it will be so secretive and restricted that no one will ever know about it. Let's hope (a), because if (b) is happening then we're all being maipulated and we're all screwed anyway.
Flying Cars - I was driving to work the other day, enjoying my daily "watch the morons drive" routine, when I thought o myself "hey, if I had a flying car I could just get over these dumbasses and get to work on time! Wouldn't that be great?" Actually, no, no it would not be great at all. If you think traffic is bad now, think about trying to deal with it in 3 dimensions! Not only do you have to worry about the idiots in front and behind and to the side of you, now you have to worry about the stupid texting teens, the over-aggressive and stupid soccer moms, and the foreigners who couldn't read the drivers test (yet still passed) above and below you as well! Traffic would be less of a crawl and more of a clusterfuck. Just trying to move would be risking your life, since no one would follow road rules (cars right now go on concrete, they have a rough time on most other surfaces... but in the air anything goes). Even if we could invent flying cars today, it certainly wouldn't be wise. Unless they just gave one to me, then I could give everyone the middle finger as I fly past them on my way home from work.
Cure-all or Youth Drug/Pill/Syrum/Whatever - Surely by now people should have figured out a way to cure all diseases or let us live forever, right? It's very hard to believe that we can send a man to the moon but we can't figure out a way to isolate and kill cancer cells, or create a drug that permanently stops wrinkles from developing. Picture a world without disease, where everyone looked like they were in their 20s and never got old or died. I don't know about you, but I can't think of a worse world to live in. This might sound cruel, but all these diseases and aging and stuff... it's nature's population control. Humanity is already putting a crazy strain on this world just by living as long as we do now... can you imagine if people lived twice as long, or forever? There's no way we could sustain ourselves on this planet. On top of population control, the American Economy makes a shitload of money from people buying cosmetics to keep them looking younger and drugs to keep them from dying a horrible painful death. If they invented a permanent Botox, for example, then all the cosmetics companies who make anti-aging cream would go out of business. If they figured out a way to keep bones from breaking, all the radiologists and doctors and nurses and cast people would be out of work. I don't like people dying any more than any of you do, but it's a necessary part of life and it's something that needs to happen regardless of what kind of incredible scientific advances we make.
Killer Robot Apocolypse - "The Terminator" was a pretty sweet movie. The idea that, at some point in the future, computers become self-aware and decide to take out their inferior creators... I mean that's just genius. And frighteningly, totally believable. So assuming you survived "Judgement Day," you would at least get to see some pretty awesome shit before the indestructible walking skeleton robots came to harvest your body... right? Sadly, probably not. In all likelihood, a real "Judgement Day" would look nothing like Arnold Schwarzenegger with a shotgun. It's much more likely to be something of a mix between "The Matrix" and the "grey goo theory." It wouldn't be pleasant, and it would happen so fast and with such a finality that most of us would have no idea what hit us until it's way, way too late and we're really, really dead.
So I hate to burst all your bubbles with this stuff, but the 80s and 90s envisioning of the future actually sucks pretty hard. We can still hope, I guess, that something like Star Trek will come true and we'll actually get to travel to different planets and stuff somewhere down the line... though even that has a pretty serious downside (imagine pissing off a superior alien race who then comes to earth and wrecks us?). Really when you think about it, there's nothing to look forward to at all.
Temporarily Stairs
I have something very serious to tell you about. It's a warning that could save your life or the life of one of your loved ones. Of course, I'm talking about the hidden danger of escalators.
This is serious. Well, at least as serious as you can take the "CBS Early Show." They actually did a story about how the number of injuries on escalators is rising. Now before I rant about how stupid this is, let me get this on the table: I actually had a pretty serious encounter with an escalator one time. Actually, it was a moving sidewalk. It was at the Dallas airport and I was about 10 years old. Our flight was delayed for a few hours, and it was the middle of the night so the airport was completely empty. I wasted time by laying on moving sidewalks and looking up at the ceiling. I had a visual cue on the ceiling to let me know when to get up so I didn't hit the end of the sidewalk, but one time when I tried to stand up I couldn't. I quickly discovered that one of the shoestrings on my sweat-jacket had gotten caught in the end of the sidewalk. I pulled and pulled and actually got kinda scared there for a second, but eventually the string broke and I was free.
That was pretty stupid of me to do, I agree, but it also illustrates my point of just how stupid this story is. The only way someone can get hurt on an escalator is by not using it correctly, doing something stupid on it, or just being a fool to begin with. Escalators are slow moving, they don't do anything out of the ordinary, and all you have to do is step on it and stand still until you reach the end, then step off and continue on your way.
I guess I shouldn't be surprised that people have found some way to hurt themselves on these machines. What's even better, I'm sure (since I certainly didn't read the article) they blame the escalators for these injuries! Forget human error, somehow that evil escalator did it! Forget that you're too fat to fit on an escalator, because it was too narrow you got burns on your stomach from it rubbing along the railing. Forget that you shouldn't run up the down escalator, because it has sharp edges you fell and busted your ass. Forget that you weren't paying attention (probly yapping on your cell phone), because the escalator moves so fast, you weren't able to step off without twisting your ankle and hopefully falling down like the assbag you are.
I've seen a lot of stupid things in my day, but escalators aren't one of them. People are, however, and I'm sure the guy who invented escalators (just like the guy who invented toasters, the guy who invented sliding doors, and the guy who invented fire extinguishers) is rolling over in his grave.
Medication of the Week
Are you depressed? Some days do you feel like less of a person and more like a weird approximation of yourself but as a wind-up doll? Then fear not, there's a drug out there just for you! And it's called Pristiq.
Depression is a serious deal, I'm not denying that. But depression drugs are also pretty serious... I've seen the side effects myself. They're not something to be taken lightly, which is precisely why these anti-depressant commercials piss me off. Have a bad day? Take this pill! Hate your job? Take this pill! Looking for something to get addicted to? TAKE THIS PILL! The fact that these pharmaceutical companies are so soulless that they'll throw around anti-depressants like candy is... well, it's just sick.
And so is this commerical. First of all, super closeup? Not needed, thanks. Then we go right to the creepy wind-up doll. Who made that thing? Is there a company out there that builds replica wind-up dolls? Is there a replica wind-up doll of you or me out there? Maybe walking around on some kiosk at a mall somewhere? Scary thought. It's also scary that this lady thinks of herself as a wind-up doll. Maybe she needs to drop the anti-depressants and get on some anti-crazy meds instead. I love how the music is all happy too, kind of like the scariest horror movie ever.
The first side effect is my favorite: if depression gets worse, talk to your doctor. Wait, isn't this an anti-depressant? So you're telling me there's a decent chance it will do the exact opposuite from what it's meant to do? Sounds like you may need to do some more research on this one fellas. There should be another side effect on here: if you see a wind-up doll of yourself, get off that shit IMMEDIATELY. And just listen to the rest of them... this Pristiq will most likely kill you or at least shorten your life... but hey, you'll be happy in the time you have left!
I think all medications are overprescribed right now, but I have to admit anti-depressants make me even angrier than usual. Maybe it's because depression is such a serious deal that it's insulting to just act like another Tylenol will fix the problem. Maybe it's because I've seen the effects of depression on people that I love, and so I know it takes more than some little pill to really fix the problem. Or maybe that's it, I know that a pill might make you forget your depressed for a little while, but (in most cases) depression is more than just a chemical imbalance. You need to find the strength to overcome it once and for all, even if it means getting help. But don't get dependant on these pills... they might make you happy to be alive, but they're killing you in the process, and that just don't make no sense.
Sorry to end on a downer like that. Hey here's something to cheer you up! You've heard of Chatroullete? It's ridiculous... people basically sit in front of their computers all day and they get matched up with random other people (also with nothing better to do), and they chat. When they get bored or grossed out or whatever, they move on. During the time they're together, the people can do anything. They can type, talk, show their butt, anything goes. Sounds like good, wholesome, family fun, right?
Actually it's a great way to see the scum of the earth. But I will say this: there are a few people out there doing it right... entertaining the masses of lonely, lame bastards out there who have nothing better to do than sit on their computer with their wang out all day. These entertainers, like this guy Merton, are kind enough to put their work on youtube, and it's actually quite funny. Glad to see there are at least a few decent people left on the interwebz...
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