Swept

   Ahh, it's that wonderful time again.  The time when TV stations go all out to try to impress you, get you to watch, and hope that if you do watch, you've got a Nielsen box.  I'm talking about sweeps, and this week marks the start of the May 2010 edition.  So strap on your hats everyone, and get ready to be taken for a ride.  In the meantime I'm going to do my best to entertain you with a very special entry just for sweeps.  No, not really.

Go Big or Go Home
   Ooooh controversy.  As I'm sure you've probably heard, Arizona recently passed an Illegal Immigration law that causing quite a stir.  What you may NOT have heard is that this law is a great idea.  Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the people themselves.  In fact, I once worked with an illegal immigrant, and he was the hardest working dude I've ever met.  I was really sad when he was caught and fired... but I also understood why it happened.
   This law basically allows cops to question anyone they see as suspicious of being an illegal immigrant.  They can ask for identification and proof of citizenship.  That's it.  Yet people are upset enough that they are protesting in the streets.  Even people who don't live in Arizona are protesting this thing!  But think about it... if you're not an illegal immigrant, then you have nothing to worry about.  If you are an illegal immigrant, get your shit together and do stuff the way you're supposed to, and you've got nothing to worry about.  What's the big problem here?
   The illegal immigrants that I've seen interviewed willingly admit that they're here, not paying taxes, and sending all of the money they make to their families in Mexico.  So they're living here, not paying any taxes, which means you and I get to pay even more taxes because of htem.  They're not making a ton of money, sure, but what they do earn is going out of this country, which is basically bleeding our already hurting economy even drier than before.
   So these protestors are pissed, and why?  Because it's mean to illegal immigrants and their families?  They KNEW what they were doing when they came over here.  All they have to do is follow the rules, just like you and I do, and they're welcome to enter the country.  I don't see what the big deal is with that.  Or is it the whole "Big Brother" thing?  You don't like the fact that the government can pry into your life?  Well, obviously you don't have THAT big a problem with it, since you let them regulate what you eat, how you get treated for medical care, and (coming soon) how you live your life.  So what if they ask for your driver's license every now and then?  That's nothing compared to turning you away when you break your arm because you didn't get enough calcium in your diet.  I really don't see the big problem here... what's so bad about this law?
   Maybe the biggest problem is that you're never going to hear what's GOOD about this law, thanks in large part to the media.  The media is happy to report the sob stories from these illegal immigrants who now are having to figure out another, more honest way to take money out of this country.  They're happy to talk to protestors who hate the law and love Obama and "freedom," or as I like to call it, lawlessness.  They're not going to report on the fact that this will give more jobs to americans, will help our economy grow (by uh, keeping the money here), and increase the standard of living for all americans, because most of us won't work for the low wages and bad treatment that the illegals will.  Bad for big business?  Maybe.  Good for you and me?  You know it.
   To all the illegal immigrants, including my friend Julio, who most likely found work somewhere else after being let go by Petco... I welcome you to our country, as long as you follow the rules.  You are no better or worse than me or anyone else on this planet, and you have to follow the rules just like everyone else.  Do it, get it over with, and let us all get on with more important stuff.

No Fun Zone
   I was driving this evening when I saw one of those automated billboards.  Normally they give you the number for roadside assistance, or tell you about an accident somewhere on your way.  But today there was even more vital information on there... information that just couldn't wait.  This evening, the sign read "MAKE YOUR CAR A NO PHONE ZONE.  SAVE YOUR TALKING AND TEXTING FOR LATER."  Garbage, absolute garbage.
   This is Oprah's fault.  Seriously!  She's on this whole "no texting while driving" binge, like this is going to be her legacy or something.  Oprah, your legacy will be that you were slightly overweight and you controlled womens' lives.  You will be surpassed by the View, and you will squander into relative obscurity until some scandal surfaces or something even worse (sex tape?  I can't believe I even said that).  But as for right now, she is gaining some ground with this thing, so rather than attack what she will become (or fail to become), I'm going to simply attack this ridiculous attempt at making a lasting name for herself.
   If you really want to stop texting while driving, or talking on the phone while driving, make it a part of the driving test.  When drivers go in to renew their licenses, make them sit behind the wheel with a phone and navigate an obstacle course while talking on the phone.  Monitor them as they text while they drive and see how they do.  If they fail, put a notation on their license or insurance that says they're not allowed to talk on the phone when they drive.  If they pass, then leave them alone.
   I've said it before and I'll say it again here... the problem of talking on the phone while driving has almost nothing to do with talking on the phone.  Instead it has mostly to do with the driver.  Face it, some people can multitask, some people can't.  I for one can talk on the phone and drive, but I've seen more than one driver unable to concentrate on both.  Those people should not have phones on while driving... but just because they're morons doesn't mean I should be restricted.  Why should I pay for their incompetence?  Oh yeah, because this is America.  So thanks, Oprah, for your awesome contribution to the downfall of the human race.

The Men who Stare at Goats
   A reporter who's more than a little down on his luck (wife left him, job sucks), stumbles upon an incredible story: he hears about a super-secret group of soldiers who were being trained to be super-human, to have super powers.  So he follows one of their legendary best as he tries to get them both through the Iraq desert alive.
   This movie was NOTHING like what I expected.  I expected a movie about training to be a super-soldier, full of hippies and weirdos, followed by a semi-serious climax mixed in with jokes from the strange yet loveable cast.  So basically a "Stripes" sequel.  But I was wrong.  This movie is actually kinda serious... it even claims that more if it is true than you will believe.  Okay, well I guess that's true since I figure none of it is true.
   George Clooney was great in this movie, but that's to be expected.  And also he has a mustache, which only helped his cause.  However, everyone else delivers ho-hum performances at best, and overall there just wasn't anything special about any of them.  Even when the twist occurs in the story, I wasn't very interested in any of it... which is sad, since I was really hoping for a good movie here.
   If you're considering seeing this movie, be careful.  It's not anything like the previews sold, and if that's what you're expecting then you will most likely be disappointed.  However, if you like George Clooney, and you like "The Dude," then sure, give it a shot.

Moon
   A lone employee working at a moonbase discovers that things arne't what they seem.  With just two weeks left on his contract, is he going to believe what he's seeing with his own eyes, or is he going to accept the fact that 3 years alone on the moon might make someone a little loopy?  Well, just when you think you know... BAM!
   Actually, kinda semi-bam.  This movie, while entertaining and very, very well done, still left a lot to be expected.  First the good: Sam Rockwell is awesome.  For being basically the only actor in this entire movie, he puts out a very impressive performance.  The whole look and feel of this movie is fantastic... very isolated and confusing, just like I imagine it would be after sitting on the moon for a couple years... alone.
   But now the bad.  This movie was waaaayyyy too predictable.  Also, just when I was starting to get into Sam Rockwell's character, the twists start hitting and before I know it, I've lost a lot of my attachment to the character.  Sure the story and effects are good, but they're also predictable and nothing special, in that order.
   Overall, this movie was good and enjoyable, but not nearly as good or enjoyable as it could have been.  It's a shame too, since Rockwell puts out such a stellar performance.  I wanted to like this movie a lot, I really did... but as it stands I just can't recommend it to everyone.  If you like Rockwell, or you're into isolation, then go ahead and give it a shot.  Just don't come crying to me when it's not what you were expecting or hoping.

Alright folks, so everyone watch KHOU this month, and if you see any of my promos let me know what you think.  Until next time...